Tomorrow's Children

Introduction: Never forget the order of the universe: God-Man-Machines-Technology. Man created technology. Technology is not bad. We parents, teachers, and other adults can determine how it will be used in our children’s lives to benefit them, not hurt them. Over time, I’ve learned so much about how to raise children to become someone I not only love, but like. I wanted to share some of the things I’ve learned that worked no matter what age we are living in.
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Lesson 9: When my son came to me in his junior year of college and told me he wanted to drop out, I immediately said, “No, you can’t.” I couldn’t understand why he wanted to leave college. He was an A student and loved learning. He asked me to listen to him, and I did. He explained that he had been offered a rap contract by a record label and that he wanted to pursue a career in rap. I didn’t even know what rap was, but what I did know was my child. I knew he would stay in school if I insisted, but he wouldn’t be happy. I told him to let me think about it. The next day, after thinking about it, I called him up to say that we needed to discuss his decision further. He said the reason he was in college was so that when he graduated, he could get a job in order to be able to take care of himself. He felt a career in the music industry would allow him to do the same thing.

As I listened to him, I knew I could not make a decision based on my own experiences. Growing up, I was expected to go to college, graduate, and get a job—a job that I stayed on for life or until I could retire. I realized that his generation was different. Many young people were becoming entrepreneurs or pursuing careers in the entertainment industry in lieu of a college degree. After reflecting on it, I did agree to let him drop out of school. I also told him that I would support him financially, emotionally, and in any way I could as he pursued his dream of a rap career in the music industry. We agreed that if he was not successful to the point that he could take care of himself financially after three years, he would return to college and get a degree.

Even though I knew allowing him to follow his dream was the right thing to do, I really wasn’t happy with my decision at the time. I had found out more about the rap culture during that time (in the 1990s), and it worried me because it had some violent aspects. But I knew that he wanted to follow his dream, and that as much as I wanted to protect him and keep him safe, I had to let him go and pray that I had done my job as a parent. So, because my gut told me it was the right decision for him, I let him leave college. My core values kicked in. Needless to say, he never returned to college for that degree. He became an acclaimed rap artist, musician, producer, actor, Grammy winner, Golden Globe winner, and Oscar winner. It didn’t take long before he was in a position where I could ask, “Can I borrow a dollar?” I wasn’t very happy with the decision I made with him at the time, but today, I am extremely happy that I decided not only to allow him to pursue his dream but also to support him in following his passion.
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Lesson 10: You are the parent. It’s your job to raise your child. I’ve always said that if God intended for children to raise themselves, they would have come here grown.

You are the teacher, you are the adult. It is your job to teach children not to be your friend. Gaining respect from students early on is critical for teachers, especially in classrooms with older children. I have seen many new teachers run out of a school because they were trying to be friends with the students. They try to speak their language and to be hip. They even talk about the TV shows and music the students enjoy too early in the relationship. When the students catch on that the teacher is either afraid of them or is trying to be their friend, they know, “We got him right where we want him. We can do exactly what we wanna do in this class today. No learning taking place in this classroom today.” And pretty soon the teacher has left the classroom, sometimes the school, and in some cases teaching altogether, if they didn’t learn from the experience. Teachers, you are the adult, you are not their friend. They are not your friends, they are children. Be an adult so you can be their teacher.