Heal Your Anxiety Now!

Thought Shift Thought shifting is helpful for all of the head chatter, negative thinking, scary thoughts, and what-if thinking. I can really get on a roll when worrying about my son, who is now 34. (See, it doesn't matter what age our kids are. We can still worry, and we can still scare ourselves.) One afternoon while having lunch, in between sessions with clients, I looked at BBC News online and read that there had been a subway accident in Shanghai. My son was living and working in Shanghai at the time. Well, my anxiety kicked into high gear. I sent him a chat, told him I needed to hear from him as soon as possible. (China is 15 or 16 hours ahead of my time zone depending on the time of year), asked if he was OK, and asked if that was the subway he rode. That afternoon, while I waited for his response, I started thought shifting--a practice that I explain in greater detail below. I had more clients to see that afternoon, and I needed to be focused on them. I continued thought shifting and also sent my son heartfelt love. I was doing all that I could do, and felt calmer. I was able to let go of the anxiety, and to focus on and be present with my clients. I heard from my son a few hours later. He was fine. That was not the subway he regularly rode. I was relieved. I gave thanks and sent him more love. I realized that once again, I had been presented with the opportunity to do what I could do and then accept my own limitations. I knew that even if I lived in Shanghai and even if I had been with my son, I had no control over the subway. But it's hard to deal with the unknown and our own limitations, especially when we recognize that we don't have control over so many areas of our life. My client, Jan, applied to four different colleges. She exceeded all the requirements for each college. While waiting for her acceptance notification, Jan got very anxious. The anxious thoughts were interfering with her enjoying her friendships and her senior-year activities. Jan learned and practiced thought shifting. By using this tool, she was able to accept and reassure herself that she had done all that she could do. She let go of the anxious thoughts. Thought shifting is hard work. You first have to notice what you are thinking. You have thoughts all day long but probably don't pay too much attention to those thoughts. And yet, your thoughts are either uplifting, motivating and affirming -- or discouraging, self-depracating, and dragging you down. In neurobioloby, there's a saying: "Neurons that fire together wire together." So, what are the thoughts that are contributing to your wiring? We can use thought shifting to rewire our patterns and move toward more positive thoughts. Thought shifting helps us to: acknowledge our anxious thoughts about ourselves or our family and friends, look at what we can or can't change, and then let go of the anxious thoughts. Tool: Ask yourself the following questions and answer them aloud, or write your answers down: * Is this thought helping me? * Is this thought helping anyone else? * Can I change the situation? * So, once again, is this thought helping me? * (If the answer is no) Then I need to let it go. It's important to ask yourself each question. By doing so, you are rewiring your brain to accept this change and to release the anxious thoughts. Most always, your answer to each question will be "no." We all think or worry about family, friends, money, job, tests, health, and so much more. It's when the worry keeps replaying over and over, and our fear or doubt escalates, that we feel overwhelmed. Thought shifting helps to interrupt and break the cycle of anxious thoughts. Now, there may be times when you can change the situation or at least part of it. For example, a teenager told me, "Well, I could study for the math test." There is still going to be the test. So, in this case the teenager studied for the math test, then let the anxiety go, knowing that he had done everything he could do. Each of the tools, including this one,, requires constant practice. You are creating new pathways in your brain. When you use thought shifting, the anxious thought initially goes away, but for just a minute--and then it comes right back. The anxious thought comes right back because this is the brain's pattern. It's like teaching an old dog new tricks, but it's possible. I still use this tool whenever I find that I'm stuck worrying or just constantly thinking about something, and I'm going nowhere with the thought other than making myself scared or anxious. Thought shifting helps me to let go of the thought and the worry: to be present right now at this moment, living my life. Best of all, thought shifting can be done totally in your head. No one needs to know you are even doing it. Remind yourself that you are worth all of this work in order to have a better life for yourself. You can do this! I know it's possible, because, I've done it--and so can you.