One Hundred Parenting Tips Inspired by the Pandemic

Use Time Blocks to Promote Productivity. Create time blocks to help organize your daily distance learning days! Teach your kids about your designated "Office Hours" to keep your sanity and also organize your day. Kids need to know the importance of planning specific time frames where they are focused on their assignments. Break up their projects into manageable tasks to avoid rushing to meet the deadline the day the project is due. Teach kids the importance of having all their materials (calculator for older kids, notes, pencils, erasers, a notebook, the instructions for the project, etc.) and delegate a specific place for their supplies to avoid items getting lost. Be consistent regarding time frames when homework is expected to be worked on. Electronic devices (X-Box, phones, etc.) should not be accessible and kids must learn how to practice discipline when they are tempted to give in to distractions. Reassure kids that you will offer help during your assigned “office hours” so that as a working parent (moms who do not have a job outside of the home still need “office hours” so that their work can be done). Parenting Tip #7 Define Your Role as a Parent, not an Educator, in Distance Learning. Your role as a parent is to motivate and encourage your child in the distance learning journey. Praise your child's successes instead of criticizing their academic weaknesses. Your role is not to be their teacher, but to be there to guide them and teach them how to find resources that will help them with their homework challenges. Sitting next to your child during distance learning creates stress. Patience is required, which often seems impossible when teachers, students, and parents feel overwhelmed. Parents are struggling to balance their own work along with taking care of their family. Now they need to add on the challenging role of distance learning. Focus on your relationship with your child, not the academic goals and grades. Your main role is to support your child and help set the stage for their success. Release the need to control your child’s academic responsibilities. It’s a tough journey that none of us expected nor were we given the tools to play our role successfully. Parenting Tip #9 Express Emotions in a Safe Environment. Many kids feel afraid or worried about expressing their feelings, especially when they feel extreme anger or anxiety. If your child fears being judged or lectured, he/she will be reluctant to share feelings/problems. Many children will either internalize their worries to the point of suffering from sleepless nights, knots in their tummy, and even having a hard time focusing in school. Help children label their feelings. Describing their feelings (use a feeling wheel: jealousy, anger, sadness, fear, worry, disgust, shock, bored, hurt, embarrassed,...) without judgment. Once children understand that it is perfectly normal to experience negative feelings, they will be more accepting and willing to process their feelings. When kids are taught that it is safe to share their feelings, they will develop empathy and be supportive as adults. Knowing they are able to express their feelings without fear helps kids perform better in school (fewer worries), and engage in healthy relationships. Pay attention to cues your kids give and be cautious in asking questions that may cause discomfort. Statements like: “You seem sad today” may prompt your child to open up with answers like: “Yeah, someone was mean to me” or “I failed a test today.” Your role as a parent to listen and empathize rather than give advice. Many children crave the attention of feeling heard and empathy is a gift they will treasure. Parenting Tip #10 Listen and Empathize when your Child Shares Their Thoughts. When I asked my 18-year-old daughter recently what teens want from their parents, her answer was quite simplistic: “Mom, we just want to be heard and understood. We don’t need life advice. No teen wants lectures or motivational talks. Empathy and acceptance without judgment are all that teens crave from their parents.” When a safe environment is created, children are more willing to share their feelings if they won’t be judged or criticized by their parents. Validate your child’s difficult emotions. For example, “Are you feeling worried about tomorrow’s quiz?” or “Are you scared of that big dog walking towards us?” When kids feel their parents demonstrating empathy, stronger emotional connections are built. Discuss emotions. Talk openly about emotions rather than dismissing or burying them. Learning to be vulnerable, authentic, and accepting others who disagree with us is a skill that promotes emotional maturity. Road rage, physical violence, and verbal abuse wouldn’t be as widespread in our society if more people practiced empathy. Parenting Tip #12 The Power of Meditation. Deep breathing and taking time to meditate have shown to help the brain centers for emotions and executive functioning and can help children in a variety of ways. Children are able to regulate their emotions better, resulting in fewer meltdowns, reducing their impulsivity, and improving their concentration and focus. Many kids will complain and resist when asked to meditate. But, meditation can involve the Candle Gazing Technique. Practicing gaze for children can improve attention and memorization skills. Conscious and meditative breathing gives kids mental clarity and helps them be more present with their surroundings. To help your children with this technique, let them close their eyes and imagine a balloon inside their tummy. Ask them to fill this balloon through their nose in five counts. You can ask them to do big, circular arm movements that signify the balloon is being filled up with air. Once they have breathed in deeply, let them hold their breaths in three counts and then slowly release the air through the nose. You can make hissing sounds as the air releases from their balloon to help them visualize the activity even better.