Always Be Brave

Ever thought to yourself this is the week, or this is the month, or better yet this is the year that I start doing blank? I start losing weight, I start saving money, I start putting myself first, or I start dating other people. Whatever the blank is for you ever thought to yourself “why do I never follow through with the goals that I set for myself?” Or better yet the even harder question “what’s wrong with me?” There are many reasons why we struggle to meet our personal goals. We procrastinate, we give up, we move on, we doubt ourselves, and simply put shit just happens. I would argue that instead of asking, “why do I feel stuck,” we instead should be asking ourselves, “what separates those who take risks in life from those who don’t?” OK, so let’s clear the air and agree that for most people taking risks in life can be very scary. Whether it’s speaking up during a team meeting, asking someone out on a date, or picking up a new hobby, all of these examples have one major thing in common. It’s hard to put yourself out there. It is much easier and safer to avoid taking risks in life, instead of facing the possibility of rejection. In fact, it is scientific evidence that our brains and our systems are designed for self-preservation. Our system warns us if there is danger and protects us from harm. If we see danger in front us, our system says to us “run you dumbshit.” Fight, flight, or flee, that’s how our brain protects us. It’s the same thing with taking risks. Our system is designed to protect us from hurtful emotions such as rejection, shame, and embarrassment. So for most of us things like taking risks in life are easier said than done. For the most part our personalities are set in place at a very young age. Yes we grow and mature along the way, but in general we are who we are. For example, if growing up I’m a shy kid, then most likely I’ll be an introvert as an adult. If I’m more comfortable as a kid being more reserved and introspective, do you really think I can change as an adult and start being the life of the party? Probably not, but what I do believe is regardless of your personality and comfort zone we can all start to learn how to take more risks in life. The general feedback I get when people first meet me is that I come across as being guarded and somewhat unapproachable. Truth be told this is probably true. Nevertheless, what I can do is take the risk and present myself the way I want other people to see me as being humble, graceful, and thoughtful. So let’s go back to what separates those who take risks and put themselves out there as opposed to those who don’t. Yes, they are absolutely confident and secure in themselves and maybe even a little arrogant as well. What else? What really separates those who are willing to take risks in life from those who don’t? My quest for this chapter was to really figure this out. Life is all about taking risks and exposing yourself to new situations. It’s like a cycle, you try new things, you build new confidence, or you avoid taking risks in life and you remain feeling stuck. Well what happens if you fail? I’ll get to that, trust me. Let’s start from the beginning and talk about ways how you can start taking risks.