Sheltered Through It All

Over fifteen years had passed and I was more than happy with my life and was living for the Lord. I knew that God had changed my life in a mighty way and I believe that He can change other’s lives as well. I then made a decision that many people warned me against and one that I would soon regret, hence came a fast curve ball. My intentions were sincere and I believed that God had ‘fixed’ my children’s father. I received a phone call of what I believed was one that would restore my family unit; one that would have me by the side of one of God’s ministers. This, I agree, was a wrong decision made with good intentions. Number one, I felt deceived. Apparently, I was not thinking clearly and seeing the full picture. I was caught in a trap of denial and deception. This ‘curve ball’ ended up smacking me right in the middle of my forehead and back to the real facts of life. This decision really rang true the old saying: A leopard does not change his spots. I did all I could humanly do. I found out a person has to realize and a desire in the heart, mind, and desire to change, willingly give up a not good lifestyle. When we pray, cry out to God, God can cleanse, remove the black spots. Jeremiah 13:23, “Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard his spots? Then may ye also do good that are accustomed to do evil”. Isaiah 1:18, “Come now, and let us reason together; saith the Lord, though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow”, no black spots! At this point, breaking the chains of bad decisions became a priority to me. I was hoping my two children would not face the same temptations and tribulations. When I think back, there were warning signs I did not heed. Words like, stop, look and listen came to me. I did as the Bible tells us not to do. I leaned unto my own understanding and reasoning. I did pray, seek and ask God which way I should go. Through the two years of doing that, I heard a message by the Reverend Billy Graham that was right on track. Some of the words I remember really had an impact on my life and those words really concerned me. It was time to make a decision; it was time for ME to make a decision. My ears keyed into praying about something close to your heart and having the right motives YET it does not turn out good. Again, I lean on the scripture Romans 8:28: “And we know all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who the called according to his purpose”. This assured me that God will take charge over all the situations. I saw some signs that were disturbing that I humanly did not want to believe. I am so thankful Jesus has healed my heart, mind and life. Through it all, he turned me into a strong woman of God and a Mighty Warrior for Christ. Once again, I found myself a single woman. I was told one day by someone, “You did not put the nails in the casket.” But, for sure, that part of my past is buried now. The many prayers I prayed through the years relate to the last chapter of Job. I have asked God to restore back to me double for all the losses, troubles and that the years ahead will be better than the ones before. I am believing the best is yet to come for me in this life and each of my family members and the ministry. Jesus is my ‘Kinsman Redeemer’. I remember from my childhood that Humpty-Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty-Dumpty had a great fall; All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty together again”. I heard the ‘small still voice in my spirit say, “All the king’s horses cannot, but THE KING CAN put all the broken pieces together again.... King Jesus”. I see Him redeeming the days and years. I am thankful He has blessed me with a helper and God is my helper in anything and everything. To conclude this part in the story of my life, I realize that I am human. In looking back I must remind myself that difficult and bad decisions will not define me and that I am a child of God. Here is my assurance: “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made Heaven and Earth.” Psalm 121:1-2 When writing this chapter, these words came to me according to the Word. Peter 3:9, “Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing”. That is not easy to do, I know. We have had to forgive some people by faith when the wounds were deep. We must also forgive ourselves through God’s grace. I have learned from the famous quote from Martin Luther: “You cannot keep birds from flying over your head, but you CAN keep them from building a nest in your hair.” As Christians, we are able with the Holy Spirit, with God’s love in us we can think, talk positive words of love and affirmation according to God’s way. It is important to think and speak the Promise of God into our daily lives. According to KJV of the Bible, ‘For we, wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places’. When accepting responsibility and the consequences for my own bad choices, even under the best intentions, I must remember that I am not perfect and that one-third of the angels were thrown out of Heaven, with Lucifer. Two thirds of the good, guardian Angels remained with God in Heaven. It is great to know God and Holy Angels are with us and that our God rules the Universe.