CHÉRIE

A long time ago, like most people at certain points in their lives, I found myself stranded at a crossroads not knowing which way to go. Moreover, no one else could give me advice. Every morning I would get up tired of wandering without aim or direction, lost among various paths and deprived of optimism and any thoughts for a brighter future. I could only see the clouds—no silver linings. I used to sit and lament over my miserable destiny, self-absorbed in my role as victim, until I realized that, in fact, I was a victim of my own self-judgment or lack of it. I had hit bottom. I was at rock bottom. And now, which way to go, Aya? I asked myself. Are you going to leave things as they are? You must do something. You can’t spend the rest of your life not having discovered who you are or what you have come into this world for. That’s when all happened. That’s when my journey to self-reliance started. I needed help. I looked for it, and I found it. It is said that when a student is ready, the teacher will appear. Chérie, are you ready to find out your true self? You must be ready since you are reading these lines. Let us get down to work then. I happened to meet a woman, and I do not say “by chance” because there is no such thing as chance. The woman told me this: “Your only duty is to be happy.” And I am saying it to you, Chérie: Pursuing your own happiness should be your ultimate goal in life. This sentence made me reflect seriously on my situation. Do you know why? Well, to begin with, because I did not know what my happiness meant. I had to find out. I had to discover what made me happy. I realized I did not know the most important thing, which was what brought me happiness at that time. And Chérie do you know why I was not aware of that? At that very moment, I realized I had lived my life for other people, for their happiness. I knew what made them happy. And for all those years, I had been living my life trying to live up to the expectations of my relatives, friends, and acquaintances. The only thing I had not done, though, was to live up to my own expectations, to my own ideas of personal happiness. Because there were none. I deceived myself into thinking I was happy.