The I of God

We suffer from a strong underlying feeling that we are only pawns prancing across the stage of life, victims of forces in life beyond our control. We hand over authority for our lives to our governments, our schools and our gods but we have no faith in our institutions because of the graft and corruption we see within them. We also fear that some unspecified or unknown bad-luck god could punish us because we have not honoured all of its rules. We believe that God lives so far away from us, we are not sure of what or who it is. We assume that we cannot attain our goals of peace on earth and good will towards everyone (let alone for ourselves) because of our shortcomings in our relationships with ourselves, other people and the planet. This feels very real and painful to us and we not only worry about the present but about tomorrow, as well, since we cannot control what happens to us. That is why most religions have rules to be followed. We will be rewarded not only in the present, but will also be protected in the future if we just do what our priest, pastor or religious professional tells us to do. In a great many religions there is a promise of a reward in Heaven for being a good congregant. We eagerly follow our religion’s rules so that we can be safe and secure from our unknown tomorrow and our final death. In our present financial and environmental climates, it appears that the world is falling apart due to humanity’s wars, disease, violence, terrorism, hate and greed. Fear stalks us as the known and familiar seems to be threatened by a way of life transitioning into an unknown tomorrow. We don’t know if global warming is real or why there is a problem with overpopulation. We are afraid for the next generations. News programs constantly assure us, that indeed, we do need to worry about life, death and tomorrow! Our uncertainty lies in the fact that we’re not sure that we’ll be safe in the world without a greater authority to protect us. In fact, we have been trained to look for a greater authority rather than trusting ourselves. We fear life because of the discomforts, pain, endings and death and we don’t know or understand that we are the human part of divinity. It seems, though, that even when we do not believe in god, when times get tough we reach out to something we believe is greater than ourselves. We look up and ask the universe for help. We ask for forgiveness, salvation, succour and hope based on the belief that somewhere out there, something cares about our lives and who we are. We even blame “Him” and hate “Him” when things go wrong and thank “Him” when things go right. No wonder discussions about god are so intense. Our relationship to god is intense. We very rarely examine our beliefs about who god really is and after failed attempts to negotiate with a god out there, we tend to move on with our lives and ignore god unless socially necessary. Think about god for a moment. You know, the one we were taught about from watching Christmas shows on television, attending Sunday school or absorbing our cultural understanding of god. How do we relate to that god? Does that god feel close and caring? Is there yearning towards wholeness that is fulfilled by that belief in an outside god? Is there a wanting for more in life? Do we want to know who we are and what our life means as a human being? All of these questions are important because what we believe about god affects our lives. It is difficult to examine our beliefs because that brings us back to the edge of things that go bump in the night and leaves us feeling stranded and alone.