Claim the Woman You Are Meant to Be!

LET YOUR VALUES GUIDE YOUR LIFE. Our values are not always obvious. You may not even know what many of yours are, or in what order. And, the order is important when making life decisions. Your personal values (should) determine your priorities. When deciding what path to follow, who to marry, where to live, how to behave- your values should be your guide. When you understand your values, you'll understand why you prefer to do what you do. And why you are drawn to certain people. You may also see why you are in disharmony with someone with whom you are in a relationship. In fact, your values may be sabotaging your success right now. That's because your values must be congruent with your goal. When I first took the test below I had 'success, achievement and earning money' at the top of my list. My top priority goals were material. By the time I had completed it, I realized I valued my husband and my marriage more than my career.

WHAT ARE YOUR CURRENT MONEY BELIEFS?
Before you can change, you need to know where you are now. So, let's start this very important chapter by looking at some common traits and attitudes that could indicate that you are deflecting your wealth and success. Read the following statements and circle the ones that apply to you.

COMMON TRAITS OF WEALTH DEFLECTORS
1. I have expressed that I feel 'trapped'.
2. I under-value my services.
3. I often give away my services (volunteering, or working more hours than I get paid for).
4. I crave comfort and avoid change.
5. It's so hard to ask for a raise (or raise my fees) that I just don't do it.
6. I think rich people got there by stepping on little people.
7. I am generally, co-dependent.
8. I live in constant financial chaos.
9. I have no financial goals.
10. I am proud of my ability to make do with little.
11. I blame someone or something else for my financial situation (IRS, ex-husband).
12. I find ways to avoid dealing with money (bartering, credit cards).
13. I tend to sabotage myself at work. This can take many forms.

YOUR VALUE BASED PASSION AND PURPOSE

"Man's mission in life is to give birth to himself, to become what he potentially is." Eric Fromm Just what does it mean to have passion and purpose? Well, let's first talk about purpose. One could say your purpose is best described as your 'calling or talent'. It's a call to live your divine life. What are you called to do? What is your talent or gift? It is the authentic you.
Maybe you think you don't have a divine purpose for your life, or maybe, you just haven't found it yet. It's that secret desire buried deep within your heart. That ‘thing’, that when you think of doing it for a living, your critical inner voice says, “Are you crazy? That's not practical, get your head out of the clouds!”
You probably had a clue when you were a little girl, as you will see. Then, you lost it, or grew out of it. That's because we learned that our dream was just a childhood fantasy that we should let go of. Our self-talk sounds like this: "Who am I to think I have something to offer the world? I'm not special. I'm not good enough. It's not practical. It's selfish." Those are all lies. Some say you wouldn't be given the dream if you couldn't achieve it.
"Your aspirations are your possibilities." Samuel Jackson
Passion, on the other hand, is not something you create. You can't do affirmations to make you feel it. You either have it or you don't. Answer these questions:
Do you ….
Look forward to getting up in the morning?
Wake up without an alarm?
Lose track of time doing your thing?
In your spare time are you reading about your career?
Or, are you working to pay your stinking bills?
In a job you’re qualified for but isn't fulfilling?
Or, worse yet, a job that’s sucking the life out of you.
Did you guess that 1 through 4 is what you get when you feel passionate about your occupation? 5 through 7 is what you get when you just work for a living instead of following your purpose. People who are in lackluster jobs, invented TGIF and Blue Monday. Not so for those of us who get to follow their passion.

THE LAW OF ATTRACTION
Some people believe that God decides their destiny. In ancient Greece, they had about 2000 gods that were believed to determine everything in life, from rainfall to death. Some people rely on their horoscope or numerology. Still others believe that luck determines their fate. In all cases, their circumstances are completely beyond their control. Yet, some 2500 years ago, Socrates, Confucius and Buddha were teaching that we were not merely living at the whim of the gods. That by using our minds and developing reasoning, we could be the guides to our own destinies instead of helpless pawns.
“All that we are is the result of what we have thought: it is founded on our thoughts and made up of our thoughts. If a man speak or act with an evil thought, suffering follows him as the wheel follows the hoof of the beast that draws the wagon.... If a man speak or act with a good thought, happiness follows him like a shadow that never leaves him.” Gautama Buddha

Jesus put it this way, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Think (thought), belief, all start in the subconscious (heart?) and become our physical reality. Take note, it does not state that we control 100% of our destiny. Because I am so indoctrinated to the ‘law of attraction’, I think I somehow brought about every calamity in my life. In 2008, when the recession went deep, I blamed myself, my own ‘self-sabotaging thoughts’, for my business tanking. That’s quite a burden of guilt to carry. Sometimes, it rains on your parade. You are not so powerful that your own thoughts caused it. It rained on everyone’s parade. Remember that.
The term ‘subconscious’ and ‘unconscious’ mind is used interchangeably. Both represent a hypothetical physical organ, which has no actual existence, but is quite real. The subconscious directs our body to breathe, our heart to beat, and all the other autonomic processes our body does. The unconscious mind can tap into universal energy, be it positive or negative. Some call this infinite intelligence. Carl Jung called it the ‘collective unconscious’. Our sense of who we are, of self-esteem and self-importance, is omnipresent in the unconscious. Freud called this our ‘Ego’. When you have a sixth sense or intuition, this is the unconscious mind at work.
Ego directs us to behave in certain ways based upon it’s understanding of what is appropriate for us. This can be good when it directs you not to fart in church. It’s good when, if you are in danger, it directs you to take cover. It’s not so good when it creates a fight or flight impulse because it fears you are getting too big for your panties. It’s devastating when it wants to keep you playing small. Then, it makes you do stupid things, like sabotage your career, financial security or love life. It’s disastrous when your unconscious believes you don’t deserve love and respect, and thus attracts people into your life that abuse you, thereby proving the unconscious was right.

In other words, the law of attraction works, and it works perfectly. There is plenty of evidence that our lives are self-fulfilling prophesies, but little was known about 'how' or 'why' this happened. Being analytical and a natural born skeptic, I needed to understand this phenomenon. What I learned sounded more like something you'd read in the national inquirer than in a scientific journal. I can't begin to understand the mechanics of sub-atomic atoms and morphogenetic fields any more than I grasp how a movie can come across a wire into my TV, but I assure you, there is science behind the law of attraction. Here are just some highlights that I find amazing.