Pathway to Bliss
From Crisis to a New Reality
by
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In this book, we will explore one of the most complex phenomena in the human experience; that of crisis, in particular involuntary divorce and create different ways to look at it. No matter how devastating a situation may initially feel, we can not only handle it but even grow from the experience. Essentially you have a choice as to how to feel about every situation that challenges us. By reading this book, the hope is that you will be inspired to choose joy over pain, preparedness over panic. Be careful of what we think and say. It can impact our results. As odd as this may sound, we should welcome some level of discomfort because it actually identifies where we need to grow, gets us out of our state of complacency and makes us more mindful as we determine our course of action. If we can live our lives with intention rather than reaction, we can secure a feeling of accomplishment every day. By living more optimistically and recognizing the impact our behavior can have on others, we can move towards a higher level of existence. After all, this journey called life is a series of events to get to know our true and authentic self. This will feel free and not laden with unnecessary fear. Our relationships will be enhanced with a freshness and spontaneity unlike anything we experienced in the past. The book suggests that we create an arsenal of strategies to tap into whenever needed. Examples are taking up reading, quiet times or walks in nature to hear our inner voice. Executing these methods before a crisis begins secures that they will be available upon request. Thrust these methods and marvel. To explain the process of recovery and to be able to measure its results, the Healing Continuum was created. A vibrant account of how Sarah responded to her involuntary divorce was given. To develop a basis of comparison with her responses, women interviewed for a doctoral dissertation were investigated and our knowledge of the complex phenomenon of divorce was gained. This could perhaps improve the tabu public conversation that still exists around divorce. I have to do the work As she began her project, it brought such great joy because besides gaining further understanding of her own experience, she increased sensitivity to divorce in our world. With that new consciousness in mind, she, with a colleague began a Divorce Foundation, which not only offered support on a personal basis and also in a seminar format to persons experiencing divorce. The goal was to reduce recovery time for these individuals so that they could resume normal life as quickly as possible. The next attempt to reach out to others was to offer life coaching to those in need who are “stuck” in their own way of thinking. This is entitled the Coaching Curve. (From Reality To Her New Crisis) TRASH: Mary Pat- It was her husband who dictated no children and she never felt that she was good enough regardless of what she did. She also found him in their van with another woman. Lara was an Early Childhood Teacher and Assistant Principal for over 10 years. She is a mother of 4 children. Generally speaking involuntary divorce was described as one which the women did not choose but they were either left or driven to leave the dysfunctional situation. Domestic violence is the greatest reason for deaths of women in the country. Thus, the doctoral study of 25 women across the country and thus, this book. UNBELIEVABLE, SHOCKING, WOULD THIS WORK? DARE TO TRY IT, “AHA,” It was around this time that she decided that she wanted to study how others responded to their involuntary divorce. Her next challenge was to impart this information to others to reduce their healing time in a helpful, straightforward way. Her feeling was that noone NO ONE should spend years being held captive by a someone's own imagination. Reality was that it could have been resolved and completed in truth many years prior. The hope is that the stories from them and her own, inspire you to be controlled and courageous with not only your relationship crises but also any crisis that comes your way. The phrase, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” has inspired many in difficult times. An interesting approach to recover from crisis, is to develop an almost Zen attitude about it. Attempt to look at life and what is thrown at you with more of a predestined perspective. In other words, have the attitude that what is happening “Is simply meant to be”! Essentially have the ability to surrender control to a power greater than yourself. The phrase, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” has inspired many in difficult times. Similarly, another prayer which has profound impact is the Violet Flame. This is how it goes: “I am a force of violet fire greater than any human experience”! In other words, we are all greater than anything that occurs to us! Violet is made up of three colors. Pink representing universal love,blue representing power and protection and yellow representing Divine intervention. This prayer has been said by so many different people who have expressed a sense of peace and control when they say it. It is successful because it puts the person in question in a power position and not that of a victim. It has proven to be quite successful in easing the heart through an emotional struggle. Not long ago, the prayer was used to gather prayers of healing intention for a little baby by the name of Vera Elizabeth, who is now a most precious angel. The value of this prayer is although it cannot necessarily guarantee the results we want, it provides peace and a sense of direction to those involved as they are going through what could be the most stressful time of their lives. A metaphor was given which is powerful in giving one the strength to go on. It suggests that if we look at what we are experiencing through another lense, stepping stones are provided for us. When you reach a stone, it seems that the next one is lit up for us to follow. The only thing that is needed is the courage to take the first step or “leap of faith” and the next gets easier. Begin to look at not only the process but life in general differently. View it as an adventure to be relished rather than a plan to be followed. Oddly enough, we often follow someone else’s interpretation about how our lives should be lived, example, “the American Dream.” Instead, chart your own life path and see what magic can happen. Renew pleasure in the small things; the sun, birds and nature perhaps. All around us are sources of joy but we have to look for them and choose well that which soothes our soul. There is an old Buddhist expression which helps us look at crisis differently, It is “Don’t worry! It just doesn’t matter”. When you think about it, if we can adopt this philosophy, a lot of our pain could be minimized. In other words, try to look at the situation from a more spiritual perspective and trust that beyond the pain, there is a place where peace resides. Believe in angels, we all have them. Listen to them and know that their job is to protect you and give you a sense of well-being when noone else seems to be around. Get well acquainted with your spiritual self and you'll never feel alone. Often, when we feel frenzied with nowhere to turn, look inside. We will realize that we have the answers right within us. Now we know where to look and just be quiet enough to hear them.
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About the Book
Pathway to Bliss takes the reader on a journey from a darkness to light. Although women of divorce is discussed, the principles shared can be applied to anyone encountering any kind of crisis. By studying the patterns identified, we learn how to handle crisis with balance and control. In this way, we spare ourselves unnecessary pain and discomfort. The author opens the book with an in depth account of Sarah. Her innermost thoughts were telling, as she craftily maneuvered through life. To showcase her lessons and provide a rich comparison, we meet the women interviewed in the study. Their stories are compelling, as they tried to find their way from shear panic and danger, to comical antics. The book follows these women from the initial to the end phase of recovery. The Healing Continuum was created to measure their progress from pain and suffering to peace and contentment. One thing was apparent; many wasted an inordinate amount of time trying to recover. Thus, prescriptives are offered on how to reduce healing time. By realizing that crisis is inevitable, we are encouraged to prepare for it before it occurs. The question and answer section creates more learning for future use. By relating these exercises to one’s own situation, the reader can approach crisis with confidence. The purpose of this book is to act as a teaching tool for individuals experiencing crisis, or simply a guide to improve one’s attitude towards life. Thus, this book is humbly offered, with anticipation, to help the reader handle life’s challenges. For from the stories told arise the personal wisdom and insights which Sarah and the respondents learned. The hope is that their experiences will help others achieve a sense of inner peace and balance in their new reality.
About the Author
After 22 years in education, Dr. Chella received a Doctorate. The title of her study was “The Impact of Involuntary Divorce of Female Educators on Their Professional Performance.” She found the work to be therapeutic, as it mirrored her own life. She decided that no one should suffer unnecessarily and would do anything she could to secure that for others. Thus, this book. Dr. Chella’s greatest joy is spending time with her family,whom she loves dearly and is inspired by them daily. She loves life and has a broad network of friends. She has been called a “cock-eyed optimist” because of her positive outlook. She does this with meditation, organics and living in a way that respects our children and our planet. She has traveled extensively and enjoys the arts. She has a passion for antiques, gardening and nature. She strives for physical and spiritual wellness. Using her extensive educational and personal experience, she coaches others to find bliss regardless of what they encounter. For the Website Only: Dr. Chella knew one day she would write a book. She just didn't know what it would be about or when. Unbeknownst to her, her life experience would supply that answer. The only thing that she had to do was prepare herself educationally for a fully productive professional life. She received a Bachelor of Science which prepared her to become a Home Economics teacher. She received a Master of Arts to secure that position. After 15 years in the classroom, she served as a coordinator of a motivational program. This role inspired her to get another Master's degree in Administration (CAS). Gratifried by that experience, she then went on to receive her Doctorate in Education The topic for her dissertation, was “The Impact of Involuntary Divorce of Female Educators on Their Professional Performance”. She found the study to be very therapeutic as her study mirrored her own personal experience. For after a 20 year relationship, her marriage came to an abrupt halt. She found the symptoms her respondents in her study described were so similar to what she had experienced. She decided early on in the process of recovery that she did not want anyone else to suffer like she did for the length of time that she did. Thus the book, which she feels more than qualified to write. After the divorce, she jointly raised her daughter and son in the same house, in the same small town south of the city of Buffalo. She has traveled extensively, enjoys the arts and enjoys antiques and organic living. She prides herself in keeping in good shape both physically and spiritually. She has a broad network of friends and enjoys helping others. With her cohesive educational and personal expertise in place, she coaches others to return to bliss in their lives no matter what they encounter.