CHAD, A Celebration of Life ~ Beyond A Mother's Memories

I remember a moment on the plane. Even though it was night, I wore my sunglasses continuously, for my eyes were swollen from crying. I remember asking the flight attendant for ice. She brought it quietly and disappeared. People sense when something is wrong and give you the space and respect you need. It is so appreciated for in this circumstance, one becomes oblivious to all, even one who is usually conscious of social demeanor in public. I was glad it was a night flight and that the plane didn’t appear to be full. Then, one like an animal that had been recently attacked could retire to a place of solitude and lick its wounds in private. As the plane’s ascent began, I felt this terrible pain suffuse my entire being: no more delaying, no more turning back, no more time. This plane, with every motion, was taking me to meet, face to face, this horrific loss. Sharen, Carl’s wife, must have sensed my anguish, for, at this moment, she reached across to take my hand, and we held hands across the aisle as the plane took off… to face the most difficult moment of our Lives. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ … In my most polite, persuasive, non-aggressive voice, I ask, “Could you just step over here, just for one moment? Real quick…I want to show you something.” It’s a very polite group of people, and although, indeed, they may be headed to their Son or Daughter’s meet, they do follow me over. As we step to the “Stories Table,” we see, as I mentioned earlier, there is Chad’s smiling face and his physique well-toned on an 18 x 24-inch poster to greet them. No holds barred, you have about 1 minute tops for them to listen; the gloves must come off. “Meet my Son, Chad. He was playing football in California, came out of a huddle, dropped suddenly, and his Life was over shortly after that. – He was only 26: he was healthy, never had a heart problem, never drank a drop of alcohol, smoked, or did drugs. -He also never had the advantage of having an “Echocardiogram,” and I point like a setter to the building where these lifesaving tests are being held, “Please take a few minutes to have your Son or Daughter screened.” Then my hand goes immediately to the “Stories Table,” and I say, “Meet Chad’s younger brothers and sisters; they, too, were seemingly healthy athletes – and none of them had the benefit of an Echocardiogram. They go to see the picture posters and stories: 13-year-old David Deuel, a basketball player; 19-year-old Anthony Bates on his way to play football at Kansas State; the entire Morrell family, 3, 13, 14 and 42; the Parent Heartwatch deck of 40 cards, each showing a child victim of Sudden Cardiac Arrest from ages 5 to 26; Andrew Helgeson, 18, an all-star lacrosse player from Silver Spring, MD., who died from Sudden Cardiac Arrest, a week before his high school graduation; and Baltimore’s favourite Son, Reggie Lewis, 27, star basketball player for the Boston Celtics, and more and more. Now they will read the statistics on the postcard I gave them: 1 out of 500 births have the abnormal H.C.M. (hypertrophic cardiomyopathy) gene. The C.D.C. says 3,000-6,000 young people die annually from Sudden Cardiac Arrest between the ages of 15 and 34. More young black men die from H.C.M. than whites (44% vs. 22%). Beware of fainting, dizziness, shortness of breath, blackouts. I could spout out statistics until I was blue in the face, it wouldn’t have meant as much to them. It was my Son and your Son/Daughter and everyone’s picture and story on that table that made the difference. They looked just like their own child walking next to them.