God Gave Us Beauty From Ashes
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Daddy was in prison a couple of years when we received a call telling us that he had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and had only weeks to live. It was early spring and severe rain storms were causing heavy flooding on the road between our house and the prison. In spite of the terrible roads, Owen offered to drive me across country to Daddy’s prison so that I could spend a few weeks with him. Owen bravely pushed his way through roads with several inches of water on them without even a word of complaint. I was thankful that I could stay with his mom, who now lived alone after her husband’s death, while visiting Daddy. When I arrived at the prison, I passed through numerous locked gates on the way to the hospital. How strange and intimidating it felt to hear yet another door lock behind me, as we went into the depths of the penitentiary. I felt a twinge of fear as the guards took us past scummy looking men hanging out in the hallways. Finally, we came to my father’s room, and I could see him through the open door. He was lying in his bed gazing at the ceiling and his face was shining! He hadn’t noticed that I had come, so I stood enraptured wondering at the change in my Daddy’s countenance! Obviously he was different from the man that I had grown up with. What deep emotions flooded my heart, and I had to push back tears of gratitude as I gazed in amazement, pondering the obvious miracle of grace which had taken place in his heart. How every little girl longs to have a daddy who can be trusted, who is godly and strong. I had never had that before and hadn’t even fully imagined, or knew, just how much I wanted it! For three weeks I got to visit Daddy every day. I had never been able to talk so openly with him about my feelings and about his struggles. As we spoke, he told me how thankful he was for the time he had spent in prison, because he had learned so much there. He expounded, “I’m so sorry that I never learned these things many years ago. I could have made life so much easier for you all.” “I don’t know how I ever did those horrible things,” he continued. “I don’t think I would ever want to do them again, but if I were to live, and get out of this place, I would never want to be alone with a child again, because I wouldn’t want to trust myself. I feel so terrible for having messed up so many lives.” My heart thrilled as I listened to him speak, for I knew that these attitudes came from true repentance. While I was at the prison, I had a chance to talk alone with the prison doctor, and was further encouraged by his comments. “Your dad’s story needs to be told,” he said to me. “He is truly a changed man. Other people need to know that God can change anybody, even child molesters. There are many people inside these locked doors, and outside in the world, who have lost hope that God would do anything for them. Your father’s changed life is a testimony of God’s faithfulness to any sinner who chooses to repent.” I was amazed to hear this physician speak so candidly about God, and about what God had done for Daddy. And I determined that I wanted other hopeless individuals to know that indeed our God is bigger than their problems. He has already shown that over and over in the many individuals whose lives He has changed. Truly the greatest evidence of God’s power is a changed heart.
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About the Book
At each attempt to make a life changing transition, the author’s family secrets would scream to come out. Her need to protect those nearest her would keep her life normal, but tormented on the inside. Her poignant portrayal of a God, who is able to bring their secrets to the healing sunlight of His grace, while loving both the victim as well as the perpetrator, is a saga no one who has been touched by sexual abuse can afford to miss. I will recommend this most helpful volume to many of my clients. —A counselor in private practice for over twenty years.
When I arrived at the prison, I had to pass through numerous locked gates on my way to the hospital. How strange and intimidating it felt to hear yet another door lock behind me as we went into the depths of the prison. I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of fear as the guards took us past scummy looking men hanging out in the hallways. Finally, we came to my father’s room and I could see him through the open door. He was lying in his bed gazing at the ceiling and his face was shining! He hadn’t noticed that I had come, so I stood enraptured, wondering at the change in my Daddy’s countenance. While I was at the prison, I had a chance to talk alone with the prison doctor, and was encouraged by his comments as well. “Your dad’s story needs to be told,” he said to me. “He is truly a changed man. Other people need to know that God can change anybody, even child molesters. There are many people inside these locked doors, and outside in the world, who have lost hope that God would do anything for them. Your father’s changed life is a testimony of God’s faithfulness to any sinner who chooses to repent.”
About the Author
Born the daughter of a pedophile, I wondered why God would chose to miraculously place a baby into such a home as mine. In time I would learn that He isn’t as threatened by our sins as we are, because He sees that He is big enough to bring healing to all, even those who are in the worst of situations. I have come to understand God in ways that I never would have in better circumstances, and I am so thankful for the life I have had, excepting for the ways in which I have hurt other people who are dear to my heart.