Heart Magick … Where Healing Begins

This week off for bad weather was a time for me to come to terms with more than just the existence of Al. It gave me time to reflect on my knee pain and on this journey that I have been on for some time now. I really didn’t realize how all of the changes were affecting me until I put the knee pain to the resistance to change. It has been an inner turmoil for me as the changes come with knowing that sooner or later I have to be open and honest with all that is going on both inside and out around me and I worry of the reactions of those that I love. I fear their judgments. I fear that they won’t love me anymore or that they will wish me to no longer be in their lives. These are things that I couldn’t bear and the fear of the pain that would bring has kept me silent. It’s a double edged sword when you keep silent. When things come out, as they will in the end if you are really living your truth, those that are the closest to you are hurt because you didn’t trust them enough to tell them all that was going on. I think that there are times when the truth comes out too soon and the journey takes a detour that isn’t needed. Did I do the right thing by keeping some things from those that are close and only discussing them with those that understood what I was dealing with? I leave it to the reader to decide for themselves which direction they would have taken. Maybe I could have handled things differently and avoided some of the heartache that came along, then again, maybe not. That is still to come in this story. At the moment I was still dealing with the reality of Al in my life and the snows of January were still falling.