The Anxiety and Panic Handbook

NOTE TO LOVED ONES I want to include this section for the loved ones in an effort to help you better understand what it is like for someone living with anxiety. Your first reaction to these attacks is probably ‘snap out of it’ approach. Believe me this is something that a sufferer would absolutely love to be able to do. But by the time anxiety is upon us, it is far too late for rational thinking. The thoughts are manic and we feel as if we are bouncing around inside ourselves, totally out of control. We are so gripped with fear that we are frozen in a state of sheer terror. We cannot think straight. All our rational thought processes are beyond reach at this point and being told to get a grip only makes us feel more out of control. We wish we were someone else, we wish we could shut down our thoughts and we just want it all to STOP! It is like having an evil alter ego inside our heads who delights in creating the thoughts that we fear the most. Our true self feels weak and powerless against it and the battle continues all day every day. The experience leaves us exhausted and drained. Imagine for a few minutes, living everyday with the anticipation of having to have a painful medical procedure, sitting an important exam, job interview or waiting for cancer test results. This is the kind of stress an anxiety sufferer feels most of the time. We are nervous and on edge, fearing when the next attack will strike and the adrenaline is continuously flowing through our bodies. We feel like every single fiber of our being is constantly on high alert. What can you do to help? • Be patient and compassionate. People who suffer anxiety do not choose to do so. • Reassure them that an attack won’t harm them or make you think any less of them. • Tell them that you are there to provide support and encouragement during their recovery and really follow through by continually telling them that they can overcome the condition. • Reaffirm their strength and courage. • Show your faith in their ability to recover. Knowing that you have faith in them will strengthen their faith in themselves. • Allow them the time and space they need to change their habits and environment. • Don’t add more responsibility or pressure to their workload. During their recovery, the pressure has to come off. • These are small sacrifices on your part, which will make a huge difference to their recovery and ability to live a normal life. During an attack: • Tell them to BREATHE deeply and slowly. Tell them it WILL pass. • Have them take out their emergency card and go through it with them. • Give them a lot of positive, rational statements about their ability and strength to overcome this. • Sometimes being told `you CAN do this’ really helps them to find their inner strength. Lead by example and take time out to relax and enjoy your precious time together. When your loved one overcomes this, you will have to be vigilant looking for warning signs of a relapse. Your role will be just as important as theirs in maintaining a new lifestyle. It will become a team effort and the rewards will make it so worthwhile. To see them relaxed, happy and smiling will be worth more than anything money can buy.