Time Out, Tune In, Turn On

Magic Mop

Everyday Experience V

1. 1.    Journal

It was time for breakfast and our usual saga was about to be underway. We woke early. Blessed with a beautiful garden, we enjoyed spending a precious early hour or so outside. Understandably, we were reluctant to move toward the home for breakfast. Reality set in and I began to wonder:

How can this transition be a little smoother?

Yesterday I brought breakfast out to the garden and feast we did, as we had worked for ninety minutes solid. Little did I know that we’d go on for another ninety minutes more! Fortunately, it was Sunday and we were able to embrace the flow of our desires. We had no schedule to stick to for school and puppy was happy to dig holes instead of going on an early-morning walk.

Today was different. I wanted to walk with my son and “Big Sis” down to the school bus and come home along the forest. We would take time to have a picnic on the bridge and count the scrub turkeys along the way. The fish in the pond would have grown as they were only babies the other week.

Naturally, I assumed our usual school-morning challenge by asserting, “Okay, it’s time to go inside.” I asked Big Sis to set the table and this meant that my little one needed to pull at my nightie, bang on the wall, play ball with puppy, and pull out our personal files. When Big Sis was home on a Monday morning, the dynamic of three was far different from just the two of us.

Intensity set in; my voice firmed with direct requests. I noticed my little one fleeting between activities and then he was finally willing to come to the table so we could eat together. He was happy to put a fancy strawberry ice cube in his glass of orange juice. Just as he was sitting down, he was no sooner back to the fridge for fizz and chocolate milk. I noticed while I was at the bench top. I breathed and reasoned: At least he has come up to eat!

Just as I came to the table to eat, I rushed back to get my juice and noticed spots of muddy paw prints all over the floor! I had vacuumed and mopped yesterday, a task that took well over one hour of concentrated, dedicated effort—not to mention it was in the heat! I was silently content with the illusion that clean floors painted as a foundation of composure for our home, even if they were barely noticed by the some of the people who lived here. I took a deep breath—chaos was back again. I knew I could fume. In the past, I would have reacted with a high-pitched, angry outburst.

This time, I took in a deep breath. On the out breath, I simply stated what I saw: “Oh, my gosh! There’s muddy paw prints all over the clean floor!” Exclaiming just like a well-practised school teacher was partly to raise attention and partly to calm the frenzy inside me. But, with a tone of surprise and edge of lightness, I quickly sighed and said, “Well, that’s easy fixed later. Let’s enjoy our breakfast now.” I have never said anything like this in my home before. As a child, I was brought up to clean up the mess straight away. There was no choice to opt-in, opt-out, or determine how. My early days were dominated with control and fear of consequence.

Fear has held me as a captive slave for far too long. In this instance, I decided to change and adopt a new attitude of cool contentment. My mind was particularly bothered, but I felt satisfied and rather accomplished that I could surprise the children in this way.

I’ve been so overly tense and hardworking for their hearts’ liking. They long for me to lighten-up. Life through a child’s eye is so in-the-moment, and I have known for some time that I have needed to change; to have my children seeing more of the real me rather than the “mum who dutifully does.” I was doing to please, but to please whom? Certainly not them, nor me!

So after breakfast, my little one was “up and off” as usual. I was about to get the mop and clear away the mud as it was, after all, my responsibility. Yet something again shifted inside and out came another uplifting suggestion:

“Let’s get the magic mop!”

Heads turned, and eyes lit up! My little one followed me immediately to the laundry. He brought out the mop and I followed, singing, “Watch the magic mop, clear the muddy paw prints, out of the way!”

Well, this was a site to behold! My three-year-old son, industrious indeed, had his older, teenage sister watching with surprise as he mopped up the muddy paw prints independently. He was enjoying the entire process and feeling most delighted and satisfied with his efforts. Shifts in my life were indeed occurring. Big Sis and I were stunned!

The mud disappeared before my eyes without me lifting a finger or raising my voice. This was nice more please! My faith in this way of living and style of parenting was renewed.

With gratitude, I rest happy in my heart that I am always learning. It is possible to shift; to change; to embrace and enjoy life as it comes! I have to remember to alter my perception, shake off my old habits and belief patterns, and toss them out with my basket of my pain.

As fleeting as these moments are, they are no less significant. I am looking forward experiencing more frequent moments like these. It’s not necessarily a complete life makeover but it’s a gradual becoming of a life that is more enjoyable to live. It is supported by my growing awareness and willingness to lighten-up and be reassured by the spontaneity that flows naturally, when we “turn on.”

1. 2.    Reflection

I know I am healing and growing when I experience the thrill of spontaneous surprise—unexpected, delightful events that synchronise. My husband and children love seeing me free and happy. My husband wasn’t home on the morning of our “magic mop” experience, but he knows all about it—this story is his favourite!

To have a sudden shift in perspective and a complimentary shift in attitude during a confronting situation that could easily escalate into a partyof pain, is a new skill that I am developing from my practise of Time Out, Tune In, Turn On. My application of this strategy has become so delicate and speedy that I am now navigating around life’s little hang-ups and painful spats so gracefully.

A deep breath and acknowledgement of my unique reality, in the heart of a challenging moment, is all that I need at times, to centre myself in the loving, peaceful space of my heart. This strategy is working magic in my life! I no longer have to remove myself completely from the situation or do any form of dramatic releasing. My healing and shifting are naturally occurring, in-the-moment, at the scene. I am growing on the spot and feel self-confident with my lighter, brighter attitude. I am surprising myself and other people in my life!

“Flowing” is the new “high” in life, where events synchronise.

Some situations can easily escalate into a party of pain! Is this really your scene?

A shift in perspective can change your attitude and influence what you do.

Surprise yourself—do something new!