Walking with the Vain Cattle
In the Womb of Life, the Plant of Miracle Is Ready to Blossom a White Flower
by
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Chapter 4
The Doorkeeper
Annexe 1: Qualifications please!
Walking towards the ticket booth,
“Hello, ticket maker.”
“Where are you heading?” He inquires.
“I wish to journey towards the light, please!” I answer with hope.
“Are you qualified for the journey?” He asks.
“Please present your legitimate passport and valid visa.” He commands.
Oh, that recurring nightmare…!
Did I forget my passport?! Again?!
Do I have a passport, or a visa?
“Yes, sir,” I reply faking assurance;
“I’m qualified, but in human land they give no visas to exiles.”
“I see,” he responds in an attentive, ironic way.
“If exceptionally I allow you to pass, where will you be staying?”
“In inner peace, and love when I find it.”
“Who is hosting the event?”
“My earth, universe, and heavenly angels.”
“Did you travel alone?”
“Without a shadow, gracious creature, from darkness till dawn.”
“Do you have an invitation?”
“Yes, but it’s invisible to the two bare eyes;
I’m sure you’ve seen one of those before, sir!”
But he’s not buying, and I’m not shying.
“Just let me go, I beg you,” in a soundless, frustrated scream, I stare.
But he stares fearlessly back, and solicits:
“This is no playground, child of life.
Now if you can assume what you presume, tell me:
Are you aware of the consequences of your reverie?
What can you afford to lose for such a journey?
What are you willing to give up for the freedom of a footloose nomad?
How long will you be attracted to such a life?
Do you have it in you to face the expedition’s acute inconveniences?
Let me hand you the itinerary, if you will:
First days, you will be faced with loneliness, sadness, weakness,
Then helplessness, followed by a collapsing depression;
‘Not to be taken with alcohol.’
A few months later, even years, while enjoying the above,
You will find yourself in poverty, insecurity, and utter instability.
In the mid of oceans, you will find yourself struggling for endurance,
Bathing in typhoons, and if fortunate, sometime a sunlit breeze;
Friends from heaven might sustain you,
But your faith must be powerful and the world can tease.
You shall not doubt even while drowning,
Do you have that unconditional belief?!
You will be whipped for that unseen vision,
Humiliated, and called vicious names.
While you travel your own way,
They all live the same routine of the day.
You will even be more apart,
Confused with a rejected heart.
And in your journey, you’ll receive a thousand stones,
Venomous arrows from their eyes to your bones.
Killing your daemons is your greatest self-oaths,
Finding yourself naked without your ghosts,
Sacrificing your dark force,
Praying to the true light source,
To find your reason, to find your course.
Faith, little flower! Do you have its roots?
Hope, delicate soul! Is it still etched in your name?
No more lusting after the trivial,
You are standing in the quadrivial.
Up or down? East or west?
Make your choice! Be my guest!
Are you sure it’s self-conquest that you’re after?
And it’s not your quibbling self that is the drafter?
If confident, are you still eager to go?
When do you want to leave?
Are you ready now?!”
Too many questions doorkeeper, damn it!
Stop heckling me! Too much for my weary, brittle mind!
This eclipse has outstayed its purpose,
I can hear the darkness capering around me.
Just let me pass please! Then leave me alone! I need light!
I have nothing left here. Goodnight.
Let me go to sleep to dream of the other world, I sense,
But a response, I astonish myself and utter:
“Right you are, Mr. Persecutor, I have no a defence to present.
But can I maybe bribe you with a potential thorny crown in the skies?
Or, that, you might resent!
More veneration perhaps, or is it statistical proof you need?
Or simply a new house with a translucent roof, do I mislead?
Oh, come on now, let me through.
I’m really tired, don’t be aloof!”
But he is brooding through me in stillness,
And who said silence is consent!
Not so many people travel this road and subsist,
But me in agony, I know,
It’s time for one of my steps with the natural extension.
In the gates of crossroads I stand,
Not knowing where to go.
I’m just certain that I have to leave my present place and ways.
But He is holding me the wrong way,
He is holding me back.
Annexe 2: Platinum gateway 31st of July 2008
Or was it I? Clinging to my survival holding myself back!
I saw a fortified platinum gate sliding in the midst of deserts shutting.
So I ran to the magical door leading to the world beyond,
Yearning to get to the other side,
Still wondering, what does a gate stand for in the midst of nowhere?!
Suddenly I heard a soundless, loving voice screaming,
Stop! Don’t you cross that line!
My mind now knows I have nothing to lose;
Why not run to the unknown new world?
But I had to listen, I always trusted that utter.
The last bit of exit is closing, sliding against my thin garments and skin!
As I let my face touch that metallic steel, I felt I had to glance in,
To see what it is that the voice is protecting me from.
And there were dozens of hungry wolves, roaring, inviting me in...
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About the Book
Upon the secrets of the Caribbean Sea, Amal Islim makes a wish, asking the wish master for happiness and peace. A whisper in her soul makes her understand that she must take the journey towards her higher self. Standing in that crossroads, she meets the Doorkeeper that is separating heaven from the mundane.
As the doorkeeper holds that door’s key, He challenges her to go into her darkness and bring it to light. She takes the challenge, and plunges into the unknown to reach the cruel test of paradise.
Yearning for her Golden fields, she realizes, that first, she must face the soul of death. In her own womb, she nests, thinking that she is in her Coffin. Surrendering now to her fate, finally, hears that stillness sound.
In peace, she awakens and in humble grace, knowing now, that no true victory is without a noble destination. She finally understands that in her perfect faith, and in believing in the incredible, she was able to reach what is called the impossible.
As she breathes life, and lets the blood flood into her face, that sinner becomes a saint and walks through the gate of the enchanted new Beginning. Proving that “when a man is willing and eager, God joins in”.
About the Author
Amal A. Islim is a Jordanian who left her homeland at the age of 17. She has travelled the world ever since, and has lived in Germany, England, Canada and the United States. She is a psychologist and life coach who has lived for the past 14 years in Switzerland. Amal writes when her soul calls for expression and finds inspiration in her faith in an ideal world. http://mksvdatabase.com/OB_WD/425635/