Say NO to Menopause Weight Gain

On a girl’s weekend with two of my besties a number of years ago, one of my friends silenced me when I initiated the menopause conversation. She was not ready to go there. What I proposed to her was, contrary to her expectation, that I don’t believe we are doomed to the bleak list of symptoms so often detailed in graphic clarity on all menopause-related sites, articles and books. “Oh”, she said “you are a menopause deny-er”. “Yes I am” was my reply. I deny the inevitability of the range and severity of the symptoms we seem to be destined to suffer. Her main concern, there and then, on the spot, was not so much of the hot flushes, depression and lack of libido – no, it was of becoming square. Yes, square. As soon as she said it I understood what she meant (more on this in a later chapter). Menopause brings a plethora of negative prospects to us in popular folklore. Dig in to the abyss in scientific literature on the topic and you will come out with crawling skin, a prolapsed womb and a vagina that might dry up, atrophy and possibly fall out! Being ‘square’ might end up being the very least of your problems. Has any positive site, book, or study been yet cited in major popular publications that highlight the many benefits that can accompany this phase in life? What of the shedding of the old and embracing of the new? What of finding your own voice, possibly for the first time in your life? What of the freedom from the threat of reproduction to getting to enjoy your sexuality for the very sake of it? Where are the positive expectations detailed? Little wonder then that we use the word ‘menopausal’ as almost an insult, a belittlement or a curse. “The poor woman, she must be menopausal”. It’s about time, right now, today, this very minute that we put an end to such dismal expectations about this very natural phase in life and recognise it for what it can represent; an awakening; a re-birthing; a move towards our authentic selves. Why are we so fearful of transitioning to a better us? Teenagers the world over are belittled for the same reasons “The poor girl, it’s tough being a teenager”. Instead we need to embrace change and do our best with the discomfort that accompanies it. Kids when I was growing up, as they developed hormonally, often suffered acne, an in-your-face expression of the hormonal hell they might have been going through. Today we expect more for them, we treat such outbreaks and do not accept it as par for the course. They know little of it. Equally, we see kids educate themselves about nutrition and fitness and often (not always of course) find ways to deal with the, what was once deemed “puppy-fat” of their youth. Teenagers have high expectations today and rightly. They are not to be pitied because they are going through a period of hormonal transition. They will come out the other side, relatively unscathed; better, stronger, more mature. So too for menopause. If we are given the supports we need to stave off our version of teenage acne (I could list the almost forty symptom here but you will either have experienced them or read about them elsewhere and I do not believe in accentuating the negative) we too can evolve into better, stronger, more mature women. One of my very favourite sayings, always, as I read in Wayne Dyer’s The Power of Intention many years ago, is “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change”. When it comes to Menopause that is purported to last between four and twelve years, we need, collectively, to change the way we look at it and approach it. We need not suffer its various symptoms in the immediate (we can mitigate these through the use of hormone replacement for instance); rather, we need to embrace the changes it brings to us in our outlook and what we value. Question the negativity associated with Menopause and focus on the positives to bring about more of them. A fundamental law of quantum physics is that where we place our focus is where we place our energy (Dr Joe Dispenza has some phenomenal current research on this). Focus on the many positives that accompany this stage in life and you will see more of them. In this book you will see some aspects that I think we need to specifically focus on at this stage, to be the best version of ourselves that we can be. Let’s, going forward, expect to be fabulous at this and all ages. Not fabulous “for our age” which means a limited view of ourselves. We will never exceed our self-set limits. Align instead with the version of yourself you want to be. Have an image in your mind of how you will look, feel and act. Create a vision for your new and constantly improving self. My contemporaries that exemplify physical fitness and health are Jenifer Lopez, Jennifer Aniston, Helena Chistensen; older are Elizabeth Hurley, Elle McPhearson, Cindy Crawford; older again think Helen Mirren, Christine Brinkley, Iman; ultimately Jane Fonda. Whoever it is that comes to your mind of how you want to look, feel and act, put that image firmly in there. Use it to inspire you, to give you hope; to give you direction. Your muse may be local to you; I’m relying on Universal images here.