When Enough Is Never Enough

PROLOUGE “Almost all our suffering is the product of our thoughts. We spend nearly every moment of our lives lost in thought, and hostage to the character of those thoughts.” Sam Harris - A contemporary American neuroscientist, philosopher, author, and podcast host. Wow! If almost of our suffering is a product of the character of our thoughts, this means almost all of our suffering is self-inflicted. But why would anybody in their right mind recurrently suffer because of the character of their thoughts? Wouldn’t any rational person want to find a way to prevent such suffering and promote serenity instead? The answers to these questions became clear when I began to explore the character of my thoughts, the feelings they evoke, and the behaviors they influence. I noticed that any suffering I experienced—such as annoyance, anxiety, anger, resentment, disappointment, frustration, fear, sadness, depression—was nearly always because the character of the thought that preceded it involved wanting something from my past to have been or in my future to be more, better, or different to my liking. For example, my wanting more money, attention, acclaim, better friends, appearance, health, or a different childhood, lifestyle, or colleague in the past or future. Intellectually, I understood that whatever occurred or didn’t occur in my past is unchangeable, and whatever will or won’t occur in my future is unknowable. Yet, my mind would repeatedly slip out of the present and into this past-future mode of thinking, subconsciously compelling me to chase more, better, or different things, all driven by the bogus belief that this pursuit would eventually bring me the happiness, calmness, contentment, and the many other life enriching aspects of the serenity I truly desired. Rarely would my mind—the intangible part of our brain —remain in the present moment long enough for me to recognize that I already have ample possessions, achievements, and other things to live comfortably and contentedly. Free from mental imaginings about the past and future, present moment thinking allows us to consciously choose rather than be compelled to chase after more, better, or different things. Having recognized the distinction between past-future thinking and present-moment thinking, and observing that many people in the United States and around the world suffer from the former, I authored this book to share a simple yet effective mindfulness method I developed that acts as an antidote to past-future thinking and transforms its energy into a catalyst for serenity rather than self-inflicted suffering. This book begins with an exploration of why past-future thinking is so pervasive yet ultimately untrustworthy. I then delve into the emotional and behavioral harm this mindset can inflict, followed by an introduction to the foundational knowledge essential to understanding and overcoming it. From there, I present the mindfulness method I developed, along with additional actions that can amplify the effectiveness of this approach. This book also includes my personal 'Reflections,' where I share my experiences and insights related to the subject matter of each chapter. Through these reflections, I hope not only to deepen your understanding of past-future thinking but also to spark your own moments of insight and self-reflection. My hope is that these shared experiences will inspire you to explore your own journey toward greater and longer lasting moments of serenity. Just as thoughts and feelings pass by like drifting clouds—some vivid and striking, others subtle and fleeting—developing skill in this mindfulness method takes both time and effort. However, with consistent practice and dedication, you will begin to notice an increasing sense of serenity, gently unfolding within you. Over time, this peaceful presence will become a more natural and lasting part of your everyday experience.