THE HEALING WAY

People with Special Needs Have a Unique and Exalted Life Purpose Children, adolescents, and adults who require specialized attention, support, and care are here to usher in change by saturating our collective consciousness with this universal truth: difference in any form is a learning tool to teach us how to raise our self-awareness and love unconditionally. From a spiritual perspective, they have chosen on a soul level to come to their families, neighborhoods, cities, states, and countries to create a catalyst to awaken those who struggle to accept and love themselves. Children with special needs hold up a mirror, inspiring people’s hearts to break open so that whatever conflicts with love can be exposed and thus healed. These torch-bearers want to eliminate the illusion of difference—which breaks down our ability to love—so we can evolve, live in peace, and become one human family. Parents of children with special needs also have a higher life purpose. They are participating in this change by answering the call to awaken and heal themselves, one parent at a time. This is done initially through their suffering as their children are powerful catalysts that effect momentous change. Therefore they activate their parents, primarily through the stress of special-needs parenting deeply, and on a mental, emotional, and physical level. Being activated sets in motion a call from the soul asking parents to heal whatever conflicts with and blocks the truth about their child and their role as parents. As they look within, parents become aware of inherited and adopted false beliefs, expectations, social and cultural conditioning, and biases that conflict with what it means to have a different child and to live a life unexpected, hence what conflicts with love. Thus, their child’s differences activate preexisting emotional pain that comes in the form of lessons or initiations that they must learn in order to evolve to embody love. As they do, they come into a deeper understanding of themselves and of their child on a mental, emotional, and spiritual level. Parents of special needs children are extraordinary and I am proud to be a part of this brave tribe. Through every experience we encounter as parents, we become stronger and more resilient by the day. We have overcome more trials and faced more adversity than we ever thought possible in our lifetime. We are heroes. And the life we live with our children calls us to regularly step out of our comfort zone to face all that we are afraid of, and all that overwhelms us, to learn how to navigate our unique path in life. We learn so much that we become experts in a unique way of parenting. As we draw from our vitality in situations that ask us to give what our children need and want—the best services, the best education, the best childhood experiences—we are susceptible to losing ourselves in the process. This is an ongoing challenge that we all must bear, one that demands we redirect our mental, emotional, and physical energy to engage in complex parenting so our children thrive. We are our children’s heroes. But we must become our own so our health and wellbeing does not continue to decline. This is possible when we perceive our challenges differently. At the time of my awakening Austin was three and a half years old and diagnosed with autism before his third birthday. As the shock wore off, the grief set in, gripping my heart relentlessly. My mind was desperate to understand my son and my life as it felt unreal and not my own. A concerned friend convinced me to take a three-month meditation and intuitive development course to help me feel more grounded with the hope that I could process my grief. Several months later my spiritual awakening occurred, birthing a journey to heal that also created a new life with Austin. The following describes my experience. One day I was in Austin’s room, picking up his toys, feeling numb and tired. After I finished, I found myself standing, transfixed by the beauty of his room. I stared at the furniture, the curtains, the rug, and the artwork. While standing still in his room, I fell into a trance. For how long, I don’t know. Suddenly, a gentle surge of energy flowed through my body, breaking through thick layers of grief. I felt wide awake, as if I were waking up from a deep sleep. Suddenly, I knew I was being called to change my life dramatically, and that call was coming from within. I instantly knew that the path I needed to take would alter my life forever, yet it was necessary if I were to heal, not only for myself but for my son. The most difficult next step was to formally end a marriage that had ended long ago; a marriage that was not aligned with my inherent ability to heal myself. The next step was to move to a city that had the best school for Austin. With a judicious mind and an open heart, I took those painful steps so I could change my external life to begin healing myself from within. More importantly, to become the mother my son needed me to be. Although my spiritual awakening changed the course of my life, the internal work and healing had just begun. What captivated me was the discovery that my emotional reactions to the stress of complex parenting is a catalyst calling me to create change. This realization hit me over the head as I sat in a café, trying to understand what was causing me to think and react to Austin and his diagnosis of autism, and why the resolution felt totally out of reach. It was an aha moment filled with elation and hope as it was the key to understanding myself deeply, thus giving me more perspective and inspiration to change. However, this realization wasn’t the easy fix that we all hope for when we are in emotional pain; instead, it required commitment to know myself intimately. That’s where love comes in. Our love for our child, and for ourselves, gives us the continued hope, faith, and stamina to keep stepping forward on our healing journey. In the beginning, there were steep paths and difficult terrain to cross and trails that went on for miles leading me to dead ends, shadowing my purpose, and leaving me with more questions than answers. Eventually, I found help along the way, such as friends, teachers, community, a renewed relationship with my higher power, and a way to navigate my journey using my intuition and heart. Every step, no matter how small, yielded deeper insight that illuminated my path. My journey within led me to discover my truth, experience direct revelation from the divine, and witness miracles. Most of all, I found my way back to Austin. What helped me, and what I hope will help you, is knowing that our reactions to our child’s differences is the power of the catalyst at work, and what we must recognize and use as a tool to heal. The stress we experience from this catalyst is what Joseph Campbell, author of The Hero with a Thousand Faces, referred to as “the call,” which asks us to begin our hero’s journey to transform ourselves in a deep and profound way. For example, when I became conscious of my thoughts, feelings, and reactions and looked at how I was engaging with the label of autism, it shifted my perception of Austin dramatically. It empowered me to seek the truth within him and within myself. I began to understand choice and its power to create my reality. I could choose at any moment how to see my son, how to react to him, how to think about him, as well as how to relate all this back to myself. The power of choice, or free will, shapes our perception; it develops our beliefs, which in turn creates a belief system that establishes the foundation of our reality. We create our experience moment to moment by how we choose to think and feel about those moments, and the more we love, the more love enters those moments to create the reality we desire to live in.