My Amazing Transformation of Love, Courage, and Wisdom
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(PLEASE OBSERVE PARAGRAPH BREAKS) Cancer was my best teacher, my greatest teacher. Because I believe when I got cancer, I did not say, “WHY ME?” I said, “WHY NOT ME!” The reason cancer was my greatest teacher was because, before cancer, I thought everything was about me. I was very selfish, narcissistic, self-absorbed and self-centered. Living in boarding schools had made me grow up very quickly as a child to become more like an adult to survive. During my second major surgery at UCLA Medical Center, I had the defining moment in my life. I had an epiphany, a transformation if you will. I had 70 stitches and 70 staples in my neck and shoulder. When I came out of the recovery room and went to my own room and was in my hospital bed for two weeks, I had an unbelievable moment. My brother Steve was visiting me from Santa Barbara, CA. I thought to myself that I must change from being the egotistical jerk to a loving, kind, giving, and caring human being. I then said aloud to Steve, “Steve, I want to get closer with you. Please tell me your true feelings.” At that point and moment in time, I completely surrendered my ego to be totally vulnerable. I shed my skin to become humble and free to be nice to people. At that incredible moment, I knew my purpose in life is to be kind to people, and to be in service to others. I totally got outside myself, with the intention to be compassionate and spread love to myself and others. I felt at total peace with myself at that amazing time of transformation in my life. Getting cancer was my greatest teacher. After cancer, I became more loving, giving, caring of others. I learned that it is not all about me, it is about everyone. I learned compassion. Cancer taught me to give back to others and to be in service to others. Cancer told me what the purpose of my life was. This was a very defining point in my life. What is the purpose of life? Why are you here? What is the meaning of your life? Again, my greatest purpose is to serve others and I take it one step further - service to others with no expectations. The Wisdom here is, if you do not expect things in your life, then you will not be disappointed in your life. Cancer also super taught me to have courage and be strong and I can overcome anything. Remember courage is the greatest quality of the warrior. I got a tremendous amount of courage when I was very sick and could have died. Now I am a three-time cancer survivor, having had throat cancer, then skin cancer before, and now I have prostate cancer today. I was most recently advised to have prostate surgery, chemotherapy and radiation. Instead, I choose to extend my life by following a holistic integrative healing path. I changed my diet and I am now a vegan. I am positive, attend positive classes, read positive books, listen to wonderful music, love my family and soulmate. Life is about having fun all the time. I am under surveillance and monitor my Prostate Specific Antigen (PSA) every 6 months to one year. My PSA is stable at this time. I want also to note that I am a MIRACLE and I believe in Miracles. If you believe, you will receive. Again, the Wisdom here is ASK for any help you need from your higher power and/or your angels. BELIEVE you are going to get that help you need. RECEIVE the help you need. THEN TAKE ACTION! You have to do these four things or nothing will happen for you in your life; this is my belief system. My hope here is that you believe in miracles and make the best life possible for each and every person. Thank you all! There was another recent experience I had with an ears, nose and throat doctor. My voice had become raspy and hoarse, so she put two or three scopes down my throat to take a look with the camera and light to see what’s there. I always get concerned when doctors are checking and examining me with my three-time cancer history. To my relief, she said that I am fine - no polyps or tumors and my throat is clear. I then said to the doctor, “Why is my voice always hoarse?” She says, “I have the answer – Mr. Cole, you talk too much. You never stop talking, why don’t you be quiet?” I asked her another question: “Is there any other reason why I might be having this condition?” The doctor said again, “I have the answer: Mr. Cole, you are just old. That’s your problem.” We know some doctors can be very blunt and not have good bedside manners or behaviors. My point here is, if you don’t like the doctor and or you don’t feel comfortable in what they are telling you, you should leave the office immediately and get a second opinion or a third evaluation. Doctors do not know everything - that is why they call their profession a “practice”. Plus, a lot of doctors do not do any research on your condition, illness or disease. I recommend that if you have a serious medical problem, then go to the doctor and hospital that does research. This could save your life as mine was saved at UCLA Medical Center 18 years ago. I am very grateful that my family got a second opinion and that is why I love life today and am alive today. I have now learned seven or eight years since I got my cancer in my tonsils where the cancer came from. It came from the human papillomavirus (HPV)! I went to a lecture at the University of California at Irvine Medical Center in Orange, California. The Chief Head and Neck Surgeon was the speaker. The doctor said the research shows that I had a 97% chance that I got my cancer from having oral sex with women. I was shocked and totally surprised by these findings because I was never before told how I got my cancer. I was a 45-year-old man who did not smoke and drank alcohol only socially. My UCLA doctors had told me they were baffled and had no idea how I got cancer of the throat at the time of my treatment. I am in the medical books there as the youngest person to get this kind of cancer. This is not an award that I cherish, but I am grateful that cancer changed my life for the better, forever.
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About the Book
Marty Cole began his journey Sept. 17, 1953, when he was born in Santa Monica, California. At six years old, he entered military school, and from age six to eleven, he was verbally, physically, emotionally, mentally, and psychologically abused. Sometimes, he was beaten so badly, he bled. When he returned home at age fifteen, it was tough to adjust to home life after nine years away. He asked his father if he could get his own apartment. “No problem, son. I’ll get you your own place to live,” he said. And he did. Finally, Cole started living, enjoying the sexual freedom of the late 1960s and early 1970s to the fullest. Life was amazing. But when he was sixteen and eighteen years of age, two different men raped him. Later, he was diagnosed with cancer. He sought counseling, and what he learned is that he needed to forgive – and that love heals all people, places, and things if you believe it will. Whether you’ve suffered abuse, are trying to help someone who has, or are battling a serious disease or illness, you’ll be inspired by My Amazing Transformation of Love, Courage, and Wisdom.
About the Author
Marty Cole, a three-time cancer survivor, has lived a life filled with adventures and challenges. He was a community group leader for eleven years and has been a teacher for several years at California State University, Fullerton – Osher Lifelong Learning Institute at the Ruby Gerontology Center in Fullerton, California. He lives according to his motto: Spread love and gratitude every day to yourself and others.