From Doormat to Sweet Empowerment

Doormats typically have an underlying bad self-image which stays enriched by a steady stream of negative self-talk, unforgiveness and self-loathing. Our internal chatter can be a subconscious mechanism that has been repeated so long through our conditioned mind that we are quite unaware of the havoc it’s causing. We may also notice that our inner critic or “voice” has created a general theme in some, if not all areas in our lives: I’m not good enough, smart enough, funny enough, attractive enough and so on. We speak ugly to ourselves (negative inner dialogue), we beat ourselves up (unforgiveness) and we hate ourselves for not being perfect (self-loathing).When we are unwilling to treat ourselves gently and with compassion, we position ourselves for defeat. How we think about ourselves and treat ourselves is what we become. By becoming aware of our negative inner messages/beliefs/thoughts and transforming them into loving, supportive ones, we naturally begin to show up in the world a more empowered individual. Inner dialogue correction, self-love and forgiveness are pertinent in raising our self-esteems and forging a powerful path forward. A centered and nourished deep love and respect of self, has a way of naturally leading us to better positions in life. By creating a shift in our own energy and being, we automatically emit to the world that certain situations and behaviors from others are simply unacceptable. We quit settling for unfavorable conditions and become only willing to be in the presence of individuals of equal or greater vibrational frequency. Our goal in doormat recovery is to love the whole Essence and uniqueness of our personality and core in order to reclaim the personal power in our lives. Through conscious awareness of how we treat ourselves, we can make the crucial shift required to achieving this goal. All self-empowerment work begins within. It’s not about pointing the finger outward, but looking inward. It is about looking at ourselves and what it is about us that is allowing or accepting what is happening around us or to us. When we keep the focus off ourselves, we are deterring ourselves from seeing the very things that can and will move and transform us. Oftentimes, those very things are self-love, self-forgiveness and inner dialogue correction. When we shift these things within ourselves, the outside world begins to shift with us. Contrarily, when we sit in righteous indignation, pointing at and focusing on what others are doing, we will only perpetuate the same themes in our life. Look outward! Look outward! Look outward! We cannot change anyone else, no matter how wrong they are so looking out does us no good. The empowered person knows that she can only change herself and that going within first is how she transforms her mind and her life.“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” -Lao TzuWhen we make a commitment to regain our personal power, we are purposefully and intentionally setting the foundation for a shift in our growth and energy. What we are mindful of, we create. How does a person reach the goal of losing fifty pounds of extra weight? By first making a commitment to it and then fully believing that she can! By holding a mental picture of herself at a healthier weight, everything she does will fall into alignment with this goal. The same goes for personal empowerment. By holding a mental picture of oneself as an empowered, confident person, we not only begin to act in ways to support this goal, but the Universe will do Its part behind the scenes to assist us in reaching it. When we change the energy (thoughts) around a certain subject, we begin the process of manifestation and transformation. When we become conscious of our behaviors and words, change begins. There is no way that it can’t. Our thoughts create energy and energy creates movement. Our willingness to speak our truth becomes easier and we are no longer imprisoned by what others think of us. However, the energy shift cannot happen without first a change in perception. A change in perception creates a change in direction.Our self-perception cannot and will not change long term if we do not do the work to locate the blocks that perpetuate this ongoing negative cycle. Making a commitment to oneself is one of the first and most powerful steps to reclaiming one’s personal power. In this we are telling our souls we matter, we value ourselves and we are committed to doing the work necessary to nurture our hearts and minds so we may heal and evolve. Making this commitment does not mean we freak out and beat ourselves up when we stumble- because we will stumble. We treat ourselves gently as we would treat a toddler learning to walk. Committing to self requires that we are kind and patient with ourselves while recognizing our patterns or mistakes. The first step to committing to self is to finally understand and own the beauty and greatness of Who we really are by bowing to our souls and becoming 100% committed to our healing.