Our Hearts and Minds Together
A Practical Handbook in Emotional Intelligence
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3.2 ― “No JONEs” Adaptability is an emotional competency that comes from a readiness to experience anything with an open mind and open heart. A skill in this direction is called “No JONEs” where you are ready to experience something or anything, or to meet someone, where you are with ― No Judgments No Opinions No Needs No Expectations This means you try to remove or suspend any prior judgment or opinion you may have about a person, place, or thing you will meet, visit, or encounter. Let go of any prior expectations. If you need something from the person or place, then your mind and heart are not fully open to this person, place, or thing. If you already know a person you will meet, place yourself in a mental and emotional space as if you are meeting him or her for the first time. “No JONEs” is a skill that will help you to emotionally and mentally prepare yourself in situations such as: • when a person or group of people wants to meet you for the first time; • when you are about to listen to a person you think is crazy or weird; or • when you are invited or required to visit an unknown or unusual place. Do not try practicing this skill at work because, in a work environment, you must make decisions (judgments), express what you think (opinions), and communicate to your teammates what you need or expect from them to perform your operational duties and responsibilities. “No JONEs” is a private voluntary decision; you do not announce it to anyone. It is not proper nor ethical to ask your listeners or readers to practice it while you are trying to convince them of something.
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About the Book
As the pandemic was raging in 2021 and wreaking emotional havoc on many people, the author was inspired to start writing a practical self-help book on emotional intelligence. He posted a picture of himself on Facebook with a wall of beautiful flowers behind him. The caption was a quote from singer John Denver, “sunshine on my shoulders keeps me happy.” It received nearly 400 likes/loves. There is a deep yearning for happiness. He then invited his Facebook friends to help him draft the book. This book is the product of three months of intense and exciting co-creation among twenty people. They helped by commenting, drafting paragraphs or chapters, editing, contributing their photographs, contributing their stories and experiences, planning social media marketing, and helping with the book launching on 14 February 2022. They felt a Guiding Hand and a Purpose behind them. The co-creators of this handbook hope that you, dear readers, will feel it too.