Diamonds in the Water

Chapter 9- Memoir Entry 8- Our two sons- 1884- Our first son was born in 1870. He was a beautiful child, healthy and robust, and Mumsie wanted him named after me, Windsor Langford Waterbury II. We called him Deuce. We were so grateful to God for bringing a new life and new hope in our lives. Thaddeus, born in 1872, was premature and very sickly during the first year of life; we weren’t sure if he was going to survive during that time, but he did. His full name was a tribute to three important men in our lives- his Godfather, Charles Sumner, Thaddeus Stevens and his Uncle Bennett; his name is Thaddeus Charles Bennett Waterbury. We could only hope that both of our boys would grow and aspire to be just men, honorable men, and exemplary leaders in their time as well… The environment at home and school was ideal for the two growing boys, but Deuce was the only one who consistently accepted the principles shown by us and the Ethical School. Mumsie and I queried over Thaddeus many times during his childhood, and young adulthood; he was like no one we would ever imagine growing up under our influence. It seems strange that he was named after those three great gentlemen. Deuce had achieved academic excellence, demonstrated athletic prowess in fencing and football, played the violin masterfully and understood and supported our efforts to bring social, economic, political and educational justice in this country. Thaddeus, on the other hand, outright defied the family’s beliefs. These memories stir great anguish and disappointment in me as I write them. As a boy, he displayed open resentment to attending the Ethical Cultural School. I had to come to his class one day because Thaddeus did not like the Jews, Negroes or Chinese and boldly told them to go home to their own kind. He was asked to leave the school, much to our chagrin. Instead, he wanted to go to school in England where he could be with the ‘elite’ and well-to-do in the world. He spent the next eight years in school at Eton and when he came home every year, he would brag about some invitation he had received to ride horses with one of Queen Victoria’s relatives, or go pheasant hunting with the younger brothers of members of the Bullingdon Club. He came home wearing his school cape and expected all the servants to bow to him. What was even more disturbing was that his limited capabilities gave him no justification to assume arrogance. He was a mediocre student, had no athleticism, had no musical talent and had no interest other than to be rich and appear ‘better’ than the next person. He was, however, a very cunning youngster and felt he could outwit any of us. One day, Mumsie and I had to go to the hospital to see a friend unexpectedly and we left both of the boys at home. I knew we were having a delivery around the time of our return. I left ten dollars in cash on the dining room table so it would be ready to give to the delivery man. When we returned, the man came and when I went to get the money, it was gone. I looked for some additional cash, paid the man and wondered what happened. I spoke to Deuce, who looked puzzled and said he didn’t know anything about it, but when I approached Thaddeus, he was incensed. “How should I know where your money is? Are you sure you left it there? Don’t go accusing me of taking it!” He left abruptly. I knew he couldn’t be trusted; it was too easy for him to lie to my face. When I told Mumsie, she just looked at me and did not appear surprised. Another thought about Thaddeus had to be considered. Deuce quietly discussed several things that Thaddeus had done that I never knew. He would take his towel and snap it to hear the sound. Deuce warned him it was dangerous and he said to mind his own business. A few minutes later, the sound of shattered glass was heard and when Deuce asked him about it, he claimed he heard it, too, but “couldn’t figure out” what happened; it was one of Mumsie’s crystal glasses. When they walked through the park, he would go out of his way to kick a stray cat or dog, or step on its tail and start laughing. He would throw rocks at the squirrels or the peaceful ducks swimming on the pond. Deuce was so outraged that he wanted to pick up Thaddeus and hold his head under the water in the pond. Deuce asked me, probing for an answer. “What can be done to punish him, Father? He needs to learn a lesson.” I replied, “Mumsie and I have tried to restrict his allowance, even though he would cry and act remorseful; we knew he was not. We tried to punish him physically, tried to wash his mouth with soap or quinine. Nothing has helped; he acts as if he has done nothing wrong. He is never culpable and never responsible, except when the talk concerns acquiring money, and then he is focused on what he needs to do to make another dollar. He is obsessed with money and we can’t convince him that it is better to give than to receive. He would say we were losers to give and winners to receive. Mumsie, you and I don’t like the way Thaddeus is, but we cannot change that personality. He is his own decision maker. We have to wish him well and tolerate his peculiarities. Maybe someday, he will put it all together before it is too late”.