Elevate Your Self-Esteem: Cultivating Joy, Resilience and Fulfillment Through Acts of Affirmation

THE PRESENT What is the Present Moment “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” Buddha Right off the bat, the above quote may offend many people. A few years ago, when I told my parents my newfound knowledge and enlightenment about the present moment, where I let everything go and do not constantly stress about how a future event will unfold, they said, “But how are you planning for your future? That is not living, life is about planning, having a backup up and being clear on what you need t accomplish.” But what is living? Is suffering living? Is conquering the next quest over and over again, but feeling empty (when you sit alone and reflect on life), at the end of the day, living? To some, it may be, some may not even have enough time or energy to reflect. But for most of us who are working on our self-esteem, the prolonged tension over the past and the future, which is an indicator of the complexity of the present time, will only dilute and confuse us in our self-concept. It is worth noting that the “present” moment does not mean the famed life lesson many people chase after, “you only live once, so go big or go home”, which, don’t get me wrong, has its undeniable value. The “present” moment also doesn’t mean that you only live in the now, one foot in front of the other, day by day, just to see what happens. As Eckhart Tolle cautions: “Your entire life only happens in this moment. The present moment is life itself. Yet, people live as if the opposite were true and treat the present moment as a stepping stone to the next moment - a means to an end.” You want to make your present moment count, because that is all that there is in life. When it comes to elevating our self-esteem, we must make our present moment count. Because our unhealthy self-esteem is derived from the lingering trauma of the past, and the fear and uncertainty of the future. How we see ourselves is determined by the beliefs we have about “who” we are, which caused “what” happened to us, or how it will happen to us. We are determining our future by what happened to us in the past. In a sense, then, we are always living in the past, or the future, and we forget that at this very moment, we can make a difference. When we are constantly aware of the present moment (which we will learn in Part IV) we open the doors to many possibilities that have nothing to do with the past and our foreseeable future. The possibilities to rewrite your destiny, replenish your relationships with others, reclaim your love for yourselves then to others…thus the attainability to end your suffering. Living in the Present Past “You cannot see the way out of a challenge if you are looking at it everyday from the same level of mind, emotions, thought, and feelings of the past.” Dr. Joe Dispenza So what does it look like if you are not living in the present? Free Preview      THE PRESENT What is the Present Moment “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” Buddha Right off the bat, the above quote may offend many people. A few years ago, when I told my parents my newfound knowledge and enlightenment about the present moment, where I let everything go and do not constantly stress about how a future event will unfold, they said, “But how are you planning for your future? That is not living, life is about planning, having a backup up and being clear on what you need t accomplish.” But what is living? Is suffering living? Is conquering the next quest over and over again, but feeling empty (when you sit alone and reflect on life), at the end of the day, living? To some, it may be, some may not even have enough time or energy to reflect. But for most of us who are working on our self-esteem, the prolonged tension over the past and the future, which is an indicator of the complexity of the present time, will only dilute and confuse us in our self-concept. It is worth noting that the “present” moment does not mean the famed life lesson many people chase after, “you only live once, so go big or go home”, which, don’t get me wrong, has its undeniable value. The “present” moment also doesn’t mean that you only live in the now, one foot in front of the other, day by day, just to see what happens. As Eckhart Tolle cautions: “Your entire life only happens in this moment. The present moment is life itself. Yet, people live as if the opposite were true and treat the present moment as a stepping stone to the next moment - a means to an end.” You want to make your present moment count, because that is all that there is in life. When it comes to elevating our self-esteem, we must make our present moment count. Because our unhealthy self-esteem is derived from the lingering trauma of the past, and the fear and uncertainty of the future. How we see ourselves is determined by the beliefs we have about “who” we are, which caused “what” happened to us, or how it will happen to us. We are determining our future by what happened to us in the past. In a sense, then, we are always living in the past, or the future, and we forget that at this very moment, we can make a difference. When we are constantly aware of the present moment (which we will learn in Part IV) we open the doors to many possibilities that have nothing to do with the past and our foreseeable future. The possibilities to rewrite your destiny, replenish your relationships with others, reclaim your love for yourselves then to others…thus the attainability to end your suffering. Living in the Present Past “You cannot see the way out of a challenge if you are looking at it everyday from the same level of mind, emotions, thought, and feelings of the past.” Dr. Joe Dispenza So what does it look like if you are not living in the present? Have you felt like you have been in the same situation many times? Situations like, your mother can nag about everything because you can never do anything right, she always has an opinion about how you should live your life (or even how you should always squirt dish soap on a wet sponge instead of a dry one but you have survived all these years without doing so?) All of your life, you have always tried to debate with her, to take your stand and explain to her that your choice to send your kids to martial arts classes rather than piano classes was not her concern, and every family dinner ends with everyone arguing until their necks turn red, and one goes home crying and you could not wait to light that cigarette when they finally go home. So now before every family gathering, you keep thinking about how you are going to end up feeling/experiencing, and you are flustered before you even open the door for your parents. Your past experiences and emotions are affecting your present thinking, and you are anticipating the same “past” experience in your present (which you don’t really know if that is always going to be the case) and because you have anticipated it (the arguing) to happen, your negative emotions (derive from the past) are affecting how you behave (being much more sensitive, clinging on all of her words); you are living in the present-past. There are so many other examples of us living in the present past. From the grand scheme of things, we all go through this every day. Just thinking about certain meetings you are always nervous about going into, why? Because we are conditioned to “experience” some past emotions and adhere to certain events that had caused us stress in the past. And our perception, is our reality. What does living in the present past do to our self-esteem? Living with the stress, and anxiety that are caused by past experiences, which, in all reality, is the majority of the reasons why we acquire stressful emotions in the first place.