As We Sage

Prologue I was startled awake just past midnight by the sound of a dear one’s ringtone. I answered, only to hear her tearfully whisper that the election had been called. A wave of fear, anger, and helplessness washed over me. By the time I’d gone to bed that evening, it seemed all but impossible for the first woman to become president. I drove through empty streets in the still hours of night to comfort my loved one, who poured out her heartbreak and frustration through tears as I tried my best to console her. Today, the day after the 2024 election, I notice that although I live in a blue state, the stores and streets aren’t as somber as they were in 2016. I went to a “Hit Shit” exercise class at a friend’s gym, specifically set up to release stress, whatever the election’s outcome. On the way, I prayed, reaching out to the Divine and the Archangels, seeking some reason, some insight. I asked Archangel Chamuel for peace. Just as I finished my prayer, I looked up to see a line of mourning doves resting on a streetlight. To me, they suggested that I needed to grieve a bit before I could truly find peace. Arriving at the gym, I could feel I was among allies. As we warmed up, our coach asked each of us to share something kind we’d recently done for someone else. Then we took turns hurling medicine balls to the ground, punching mitts, swinging sledgehammers into old tires, or flipping huge tires across the floor. A scream room was set up where anyone could go and just let loose, scream as loud as they wanted for as long as they wanted. I went in to scream twice, once for myself and once for my dear one. I truly believed this election would be a clear win for Vice President Kamala Harris. I knew biases had been bubbling up for years, but I honestly didn’t think we’d put that man back in the most powerful role on earth. During the campaign’s final days, his words became increasingly divisive, and even his speech grew so disjointed and incoherent it was hard to make sense of him. I’d poured out my frustration, gone through my daily meditations, and walked through the forest to ground myself, as I always do. I checked in with other loved ones who might also be struggling with the outcome. I spent more time with my dear one, who admitted she felt too broken to face another four years like this, her suicidal tendencies rearing its ugly head. My husband and I decided, after our conversation the day after the election, that we won’t even mention his name in our home. Most of this book was written before the 2024 election. I’ll admit, I was optimistic and perhaps a bit blind to what could happen. But I’d held onto hope, sending out positive energy and postcards, doing what I could to encourage others to vote, reaching out to loved ones, and contributing to the campaigns and causes that mattered to me. Though this book isn’t about elections or politics, it’s about confronting those moments that stir anger, fear, and distress—feelings we must learn to process in ways that bring us strength, even peace. This time I’m ready. Chapter 1 A Spark Rekindled Affirmation: I am a child of the Divine, and I am loved, cherished, and adored exactly as I am. As I was packing away my framed photos for an upcoming renovation, I stopped to look at the family photo taken in my thirties. Beaming back at me were my mother, stepdad, oldest brother, and two sisters. Their smiles radiated warmth and love, instantly transporting me to that joyous day. Yet, amid the laughter captured in that frame, a wave of melancholy washed over me. My other brother, Jace, was missing from the photo. The memories of the events that kept Jace from being in that picture flooded my mind. I missed Jace deeply. I also missed my mom, who, mercifully, had passed before Jace did. In that moment, as I stood with the photo in my hands, I could feel both Jace and my mom with me. My heart swelled with an emotion that felt like love yet was something even more profound. It was as if they were right there beside me, comforting and guiding me. Thinking back about it now, I realize this was just the beginning of an incredible journey. A few months later, driven by a need to understand these feelings, I contacted a spiritual medium, Thea Strom. I wanted to know if what I felt was real, if Jace and Mom were truly there with me. During the session, the medium confirmed what my heart already knew: they were with me. She shared much more, as well. Shortly after my appointment with the medium, she sent an email inviting me to take one of her classes. This was in 2022. At that time in my life, I was a retired registered nurse, and the lockdowns of the COVID-19 pandemic had left me with more free time than I knew what to do with. My garden had been my main refuge from boredom. I was at a low point in my life. The political turmoil, combined with the panic of the pandemic, left me feeling drained. I had no job, was out of shape, angry, and filled with a sense of hate. I got sick with COVID and had brain fog, a cough, and reduced energy for a few months. I felt like we were on the verge of an apocalypse with Trump as president. Every news headline added to my growing anxiety, and my body carried the weight of that stress. I knew I needed a change. I was living in survival mode, as were so many of us at the time.