Memoirs of Awakening

The moment is finally upon us: everyone quiets, and Matias begins to speak.    It feels like a guided meditation at first, with Matias instructing us to breathe, to take deep breaths, to yawn at times, directing our focus and our attention to specific things.     First, he draws our attention to the trinity of creation—to the Divine Mother, the Divine Father, and the Ego.  He calls us to express thanks for the Divine Mother, and as we do, I see and feel my own mom on a soul level, like I have never perceived her before.  I do the same thing with my dad.  I see them not as my parents, but as souls in this particular lifetime.  I see and feel them as kids, as teenagers, as young adults; I see their entire lives played out before me, and I feel pure gratitude, appreciation, thankfulness.  This is how I become.  There is the mother and the father, and then there is me.     My mother is an Aquarius, and my father, a Pisces, and Viji, the Gemini Indian woman, is seated to my left, so I feel powerfully aligned with the divine family, and simultaneously supported by my blood family in this incarnation.  I experience a profound alignment, a leveraging of my connection to the divine.   Next, Matias asks us to re-envision our Ego, to thank it and to be grateful for the Ego as a tool, as an integral part of who we are.  There is the implication that we have misunderstood or misconstrued the Ego, as our ideas about being too egoic or too self-centered are incorrect.  We have mistakenly associated the Ego with selfishness and greed when it is, instead, one of our most powerful tools. This seeing of the divine mother, father, and ego work together to produce life, to create, and to manifest, is a powerful process for me.    Once we do our breathing, our yawning, our gratitude and thanks, Matias begins speaking to us more than guiding us.  I sense that this is when he begins channeling more, though I can’t see anything and can’t tell specifically that a change in his voice or speaking manner has been affected.   What is later revealed by other group members is that we are being graced by Archangel Gabriel, of the Order of Melchizedek.     Gabriel, through Matias, speaks to us about the power of the word, how it has been taken for granted, how the word has been distorted.  We have been going through our lives not paying conscious attention to the word—the word of God—the word that manifests in matter. We have lost consciousness of the distortion because it has occurred over time, like a long game of telephone, and Gabriel draws our attention and awareness toward a more conscious understanding of using the heart to see through this distortion.    He also speaks to us about listening properly, and the correct usage of the ears and the heart.  The ears were not made for listening; the heart was. We are guided to listen with our hearts, to listen to the trees, the plants, the birds, all of the teeming life on the living, breathing planet Earth that has become just background noise in our daily lives but is so pure and divine and important to living our lives more consciously, more heart-centered.   The content of what Gabriel, via Matias, imparts to us, is multidimensional in nature.  The words being spoken are only one of many levels of communication being transmitted and received. I focus my energy on the words, letting them fully saturate my being.     And my understanding of the message is, of course, uniquely my own.  Each of us are receiving it differently, interpreting the guidance in our own way.      Meanwhile, I am also struggling to take a full, deep breath.  I continue to breathe fully, in through my nose, consciously maneuvering my life force, swallowing, yawning.  I refuse to let myself get panicky or claustrophobic, but I remain preoccupied almost the entire time by my inability to bring my energy up past my throat chakra.  Every breath seems to be getting caught or stuck at my throat and will go no higher.   At one point, I remove my Flower of Life Amethyst pendant from my neck, and I place it on the ground of the chamber of the pyramid.  I figure that it might help me to bring my breath up past my heart into my throat, and I also think of how fantastic it would be if my pendant could soak up the energies of the chamber and take on exponentially greater power as a talisman of light to guide my life in the wake of this thing, when I return to life after this magical experience.    …   Matias, channeling Archangel Gabriel, concludes his remarks to us.  He begins to guide us in chanting, in harmonizing, and in embodying our node as we do so.  I’m not sure what we are supposed to be chanting, aside from the primordial sound, Aum. If we are supposed to be chanting our song, Lapad-Dapal, I don’t know how it goes, and I am likely doing something wrong.    So, I just chant Aum, and I focus on bringing the air in slowly through my nose, still unable to get anything up past my throat chakra.  I feel a distinct constriction or presence in my throat, and it never goes away.   The sound in the chamber, though, is like a magic that cannot be described. Our chanting reverberates throughout and beyond, growing so loud I can’t hear even my own breath.     I experience a kind of synesthesia, wherein our sound, as it reaches crescendos, becomes vaguely perceptible to me as flashes of translucent shafts of light. I feel a river-like, flowing sensation, like the air has taken on a slightly interdimensional atomic state that falls somewhere between solid, liquid, and gas.  The melody is intense and beautiful.   And then, there is a voice.