THE ADVICE THAT SAVED ME

WHO ARE YOU? To understand others fully, you must first understand yourself. Dedicate time to comprehend the motivations behind others' actions to avoid misunderstandings. Self-awareness often leads to greater understanding. Who are you? Who are you, really? Really think about. One of the most valuable truths to embrace is the importance of knowing and understanding oneself before attempting to understand others. Many individuals try to bypass this crucial step due to a lack of courage or strength to be alone and truly love themselves before extending that love to others. Instead, they seek validation from external sources, searching for love because they are unable to find it within themselves. This can be a dangerous path to follow, as it may lead to draining and unfulfilling relationships where both parties are seeking validation from one another. In my own experience, this is often a reason why relationships fail. If we strip away the external elements that define our lives, such as our jobs, relationships, age, hobbies, environment, and abilities, it can be challenging to answer the fundamental question of "Who am I?" These external factors contribute to our sense of self, but without them, we may struggle to comprehend our purpose and find our place in the world. However, by delving into our values, passions, and aspirations, we can begin to unravel our authentic identity and discover meaning in our existence. It is essential to recognise that our worth should not solely be based on our accomplishments or our possessions. Continually holding onto the belief that our worth is tied to achievements can lead us to live our lives solely through the lens of success, rather than embracing our true, authentic selves. You are who you believe you are. You are what you practise and act upon every day. Ultimately, you will become what you believe is true about yourself. If you believe that you are worthy of love, you will attract the love that you deserve. On the other hand, if you believe that you are only deserving of the bare minimum, you will receive just that. If you believe that you are beautiful on the inside, you will consistently find love, self-worth and confidence. On the other hand, if you believe that you are ugly, disgusting, and unworthy, you will constantly seek validation from others and will inevitably feel let down, as you do not believe in your own self-worth. Holding a belief in your inherent worthiness for positive and favourable experiences in life can be a powerful force. This belief acts as a magnet, drawing those positive experiences towards you. Who you are is determined by what you believe you deserve and are worthy of. There is no other person in this entire existence that determines your worth. Grasp this idea, it’s up to you to decide what you are worth. It is ironic that many of us lead lives that conform to societal expectations or appearances. We tend to make decisions based on what would impress or we think what would suit us best, rather than what we truly desire. Consequently, we end up feeling conflicted between our authentic desires and the ones we adopt due to external pressures. Take a moment to reflect and ask yourself, "If nobody questioned what I'm doing with my life, would I still be pursuing the same path, or am I driven by the expectations of others?" WHAT ARE YOUR BELIEFS? You will do more harm living a life only responding to the needs of others. You only get one life, live in accordance with your own wishes or die with regrets. * What are your beliefs? * Are they actually your beliefs? * Where did they come from? * Have you ever questioned your beliefs? Throughout our lives, we are often expected to conform to a certain version of ourselves that may not truly reflect who we are. We receive recognition and approval for our achievements and good conduct, and we learn to adopt the behaviours modelled by our parents and other authority figures. As we mature, however, we begin to develop our own ideas and start to question whether our beliefs and values still hold true. Much of the way we live our lives is shaped by the conditioning we receive from older generations and in our quest to discover our true selves, we may engage in activities that express a new way of thinking. Through these experiences, we learn about our likes and dislikes and may even rebel against the norms that we once accepted. This phase of exploration is crucial to uncovering our authentic selves. However, many people fail to realise that simply accepting the beliefs imposed upon them without question impedes their journey towards discovering their true selves. From my experience, I came to realise that alcohol was detrimental to my health after personally witnessing its adverse effects. Similarly, my phase of laziness showed me the negative impact of this practice on my well-being. Our beliefs are not firmly grounded until we have a deep understanding of why we hold them. Therefore, it's crucial to step out of our comfort zones and explore new things instead of blindly following the crowd. If we continue to conform to external pressures, we will lead a life dictated by external conditions, limiting our potential for growth and self-discovery. CHANGE Only you have the power to change your life. You are a strong and capable individual with the ability to accomplish great things. Life is in a perpetual state of evolution, demanding adaptability to keep pace and it waits for no one. To initiate change, it is imperative to first acknowledge when we have gone astray. However, many individuals resist change, unwilling to confront their own imperfections and address them positively. The hardest step towards progress is recognising the need for change, as it paves the way for personal growth.