Simple Explanations for Complex Terms on Domestic Violence, Narcissistic Abuse, Parental Alienation & Intergenerational Family Trauma
byDr. Marni Hill Foderaro
Book Cover & Preview Text
When you eventually realize that you have been the Target of Domestic Violence, Narcissistic Abuse, Parental Alienation and/or Intergenerational Family Trauma, your entire world is turned upside down. Finding the words to help you understand and articulate what you’ve been through can be exceptionally challenging.
Language has the power to hurt, but language also has the power to heal.
This unique and ingenious reference book,
TRUE DECEIT FALSE LOVE
Simple Explanations for Complex Terms
is a must-have resource. The defined vocabulary helps you connect-the-dots to your own experiences and can be extremely therapeutic on your Healing Journey.
After the initial shock of realizing that you ignored years of glaring Red Flags as you were significantly betrayed and deceitfully manipulated, you muster up the courage to escape in the hopes that you can reclaim your life before it’s too late. You acknowledge that there are huge repercussions to leaving your Abuser. Life as you knew it will never be the same. Your mind races as you now have to consider your basic safety and survival needs of food, shelter, money, transportation and employment. There are family ties for most, and we must contemplate the consequences and impact of our choices on others, especially our immediate family and children.
Some of us are forced to stay because we lack the inner strength or resources to escape, are afraid of or don’t think we are capable of making such a drastic change or we have young children with our Abuser and instinctively must look out for our children’s safety and wellbeing. Other Victims take time to carefully get their situations and assets in order so that they have a better chance at a more comfortable exit. Many of us just follow our gut instincts and knee-jerk reactions, using our best judgment and remove ourselves from the toxic situation and separate ourselves from the Abusive person and environment at our earliest chance, leaving without a well-thought-out plan.
Abusers and Alienators are Predators and they don’t usually let their Targeted Prey or Victims go easily or without a fight. The Abuser’s need to keep up their False Public Persona by Smearing and Abusing their Victim can go on for years and even decades. Their malevolence is actually entertainment for them as they enjoy the power, control, chaos and confrontations. Many of these Abusers want to discredit and destroy their Targets, especially when they feel threatened and truth of the Abuser’s behaviors, deceit and lack of integrity may be exposed. However, they all seem to feel that they are above the law and that society’s rules don’t apply to them.
Over time, however, you begin to feel confused and experience bouts of Cognitive Dissonance. You may begin to doubt yourself, your discernment or your abilities. Your physical health suffers and you may develop autoimmune diseases because slowly, without you knowing it, your body and mind have been in “fight or flight” survival mode. Eventually your identity and perspectives are so fundamentally distorted due to the inflicted Trauma that you lose your previously solid confidence and find yourself dependent on your Abuser as he/she now has the authority over the purse strings and everything in your environment, including who you can see, what you can do and where and when you can go. You are trapped and stifled with little or no freedom, but you accept your circumstances because these constraints are presented under the cloak of care and concern for your well-being.
These calculating Perpetrators begin to accuse you and others of their own wrongdoings and unethical or illegal activities. Behind your back, they Smear your name to everyone and anyone in your circle with outlandish lies and believable half-truths. They gain support and sympathy by playing the Victim to people who end up being Flying Monkeys, doing the bidding and spying for the Abuser. These Abusers are Alienators Brainwash your children, family, friends, neighbors, coworkers and countless others in cult-like fashion to believe that you are a bad or sick person who should be avoided and feared. They accuse their Targets of cheating, stealing and lying, when the reality is that they are the ones cheating, stealing and lying. These ruthless bullies lack empathy and engage in Projection which is done with such careful planning and malevolent intent, setting the stage for when the relationship will eventually dissolve, either through a planned or unexpected Discard or the Target’s untimely death. In addition to their numerous extramarital escapades, these Secret Agents keep in contact with old flames and are always on the prowl to line up replacement relationships in their Harem Closet in the event that they choose to Discard you as their main source of supply, or worse yet for the Abuser, you become wise to their games, choose to leave them to cautiously carry out your escape.
A very common coping mechanism for the Victims who are courageous enough to escape the Abusive Relationship is to try to make sense of how and why such bad things can happen to such good people. You, as the honest Empath who was betrayed, is compelled to play the role of detective as you begin to seek information and confirmation though your own investigations using computer searches, literature research, books, blogs, YouTube videos, podcasts and therapeutic counseling. You quickly find that you are not alone and that there is a huge support network out there of professionals and everyday people who have experienced Domestic Violence, Narcissistic Abuse, Parental Alienation and Intergenerational Family Trauma, and often, as part of their own healing process, are driven to provide awareness, resources and support to others. In time, the Abuser’s Mask Slips and with your own research and reflection, which is an an integral part of the healing process and your personal growth, you will come to learn the vernacular of the Abuse recovery community to use vocabulary words to understand the truth, find your Survivor’s Voice and reclaim your life.
Realizing that you have endured Domestic Violence, Narcissistic Abuse, Parental Alienation and/or Intergenerational Family Trauma, and finding the words to help you understand and articulate what you’ve been through can be exceptionally challenging. Language has the power to hurt, but language also has the power to heal.
This unique and ingenious reference book, “TRUE DECEIT FALSE LOVE: Simple Explanations for Complex Terms” is a must-have resource. The vocabulary helps you connect-the-dots to your own experiences and can be extremely therapeutic on your Healing Journey. In time, the Abuser’s Mask Slips and with your own research and reflection, you will come to understand the truth, find your Survivor’s Voice and reclaim your life.
About the Author
Dr. Marni Hill Foderaro is an award-winning and celebrated author, speaker and educator. She earned her doctorate in education from NIU and completed postdoctoral studies at Harvard during a very successful and rewarding 35-year career as a high school special education teacher, with 12 years as a university graduate school adjunct professor. Marni’s 2022 Hollywood Book Fest runner-up, 2020 Best Books finalist Award Winning and 5-Star Reader’s Favorite Spiritual fiction, inspired by true events, “God Came to My Garage Sale” is prominently endorsed by James Redfield, best selling author of “The Celestine Prophecy” series of books and others in the spiritual community. Marni’s latest prominently endorsed multi-book series “True Deceit False Love” creatively addresses and provides tools and resources for understanding and healing from Domestic Violence, Narcissistic Abuse, Parental Alienation and Intergenerational Family Trauma. Marni is a lover of animals, nature, music and world travel who handles life’s challenges with love and compassion. She values honesty, integrity, equality and goodness and prays for peace on earth. In 2022 Marni was inducted into the Bestselling Authors International Organization.