Living These Days

Free from the Grip “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt We’ve all had moments when we were in the grip of an intense emotion that seemed to completely overtake us in a way that felt beyond our control. It could manifest as anger, resentment, unforgiveness, hurt or even overwhelm. This state might even seem justified, as though ‘life’ has given us a raw deal. Maybe we were raised in a family that was incapable of doing a good job of raising children, or we always had a bad home, school, or work life and it felt like we had a right to these feelings. The struggle to deal with what we are feeling can cause us to transmit that pain or hurt onto others, or to numb or run away from what’s uncomfortable with alcohol or drugs. Quick fix solutions, avoiding or running away from our truth, is not a long-term resolution. Maybe we felt incapable, or not strong enough to deal with what we’d been given. It’s a good thing to be sensitive and have feelings, but oftentimes we become overly sensitive and feel that we’re not strong when we are actually very strong. Our opinion of ourselves in the difficult moments often dictates the choices we make…but those opinions may be more workable than we think. Sometimes we feel our wounds will never heal, that our bones are broken when they aren’t, or that we are unbearably stuck when we’re really not. This gives us any number of excuses as to why we can’t be happy. A deep challenge is needed to question our thoughts, to question our story and to explore the possibility that what we think is true… may in fact not be the truth. We are a lot tougher and more resilient than we think we are… we can absorb things and bounce back. It’s ok to make mistakes and take some bad falls… but we don’t have to stay down. We have the power to loosen the grip that is keeping us under life’s thumb and holding us back. We have thicker skin than we might have imagined, our hurts, our betrayals and our judgments can be the exact fuel we need to move us forward. If we no longer want to allow the pain to continue, if we refuse to allow circumstances to have the power to prevent us from leading the life we know we were meant to lead… we will take up this challenge. We can honor that ‘inner fire’ today, and fuel it with possibility, hope, and an interior source of strength we may not have thought we had. No matter where we are today or what we are faced with, we know that we may get hurt, but we are never hurt too much to enter the game of celebration again. Setbacks are often a prerequisite to success… not life sentences. To be ‘free from the grip’ is ultimately a decision to acknowledge inner wisdom and allow it to guide the choices we make. Each of us is in charge of how we see ourselves. We are never beyond healing…. A Mixed Bag “Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.” – Herman Hesse On any spiritual journey or path of transformation, it’s important to remember it is a mixed bag. Often, we can see that we are overcoming obstacles and experiencing degrees of psychological freedom, while in other areas we may still be struggling with negative, unproductive thoughts and actions. Our lives will still include various moments of imperfection, blunders and burdens…just because we find ourselves caught in moments of fear or emotional upheaval, doesn’t necessarily mean that we are not progressing on the path, or moving forward in our lives. There may be moments when we feel we have failed or screwed up, but these are the opportunities when we can work with our minds, applying spiritual principles and practices in whatever way we can. That itself, can be regarded as a success. This is where the real work happens, when we can see that we are responding differently, rather than using the situations of our lives to sabotage our intentions, we see them as evidence that we are capable of making a turnaround. As long as we are working with our emotions, our thoughts and negative tendencies, we are doing the work. Regardless of whether you fail or prevail, in either case, you are successful. This perspective allows us to see that failure is a part of what makes up our accomplishments, this is difficult to see or to embrace for most of us… it’s as though we need to tap into an almost warrior-like courage to be able to see and face what feels like defeat from time to time. It requires honesty and reminding ourselves over and over again, the importance of being true to ourselves and our original intentions, to transform our suffering and confusion into some sense of freedom and awareness. This can be difficult when we are feeling down and it seems as though nothing is really helping. These are actually the moments when it is important to remember that loss, disappointment, sadness and pain, are a part of our lives and the lives of everyone. These are actually the challenges that are a part of our transformation, not separate from it, these are the exact moments when we can begin using our skills, to work with our minds. Our willingness to understand that these instances are a part of the path, can help us to recognize that we are better off than most. These are the times that we can truly touch our hearts and access the inner resolve to work out our own liberation.