Junction

Growing up I viewed my mother as; a woman of faith, whose faith destroyed the woman. Funny, it was one of the many experiences that saved my life. I took some nuggets from the journey,mixed in some of the religious rhetoric. And melted them all down, and molded them into this book. God loves you! One phrase that I was taught in Sunday school. Words that covered my soul for decades: Smoldering my mind, preventing it from burning out due to the toxicity of my childhood. But what did “God loves me” truly mean? I tried for years to reach God to get an explanation. Childhood was uncomfortable to say least. Having experienced visions and prophetic dreams early. I found myself searching and believing that there were forces, energies, spirits everywhere. God!, the idea of God was something external who was cruel if you were not good, Something along the lines of Santa claus….but bigger. I believed it all started in Sunday school. My mother would give me change for the collection plate and send my brother and I out the door. I would be wearing the prettiest dresses, fit for a bright Sunday morning of worship. My afro-centric hair was filled with neat long beautiful plaits complete with ribbons and colorful clips. A shiny face glistening face, I was hoping to get God's attention. I must admit though the change that my mother gave me for the collection plate. Was soon transformed into Hubba bubba bubble gum. While my pretty Sunday dresses became stained with the evidence of play from the many parks along the way. By the time I ran away from home at age 11 “God loves me!” became more of a question “God loves me ?” Somewhere on the journey the phrase “God loves me?” a long held childhood belief died, falling short of my heart or at least lacked understanding.