Don't Waste Your Pain
by
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As she handed the sheaf of papers over to Sister Rose, there was a sharp rap at the door and one of the nurses’ aides barged in. “Sorry to interrupt, Sisters, but you need to come right away. The new boy is crying, and we can’t get him to stop. He’s hysterical, saying he wants to go home, and is preventing the others from settling down.” “I’ll come with you,” said Sister Marie Claire, instantly rising and pushing Lisa, the nursing aide, out the door. Sister Rose also got up to follow, curious to see this child who had so captivated Sister Marie Claire. When she got to the boys’ dormitory, she remained in the doorway, observing. “Now, now, Jacob,” said Sister Marie Claire to the child as she entered the dormitory and proceeded to cradle him in her arms. “You’re going to be all right. Did you have your dinner?” With one hand she was wiping away Jacob’s tears while rocking him on her lap, and with the other motioning to Lisa to get on with her work. “What got you so upset?” she asked Jacob. The rocking motion and Sister’s undivided attention had soothed him enough to ease his hurt. He flung his arm out in the general direction of the other boys who were all carefully attending to the drama unfolding in front of them. “They laughed at me,” Jacob blurted out. Instantly a chorus of voices could be heard in denial. “No’ we didn’t!” “We were talking about the bread...” “Telling him how we ended up here…” “What this place is like…” “We only laughed because we know better…” “Because we knew his mama wouldn’t come…” “What is this about bread and his mama?” demanded Sister Marie Claire. “Richard, as the oldest, let me hear the story from you. What happened at the table?” Richard was only too happy to be the center of attention. He cleared his throat. “Well, Sister, we started off by introducing ourselves as you taught us. Jacob asked us about our lives so there was good conversation going and we were all sharing our stories when he mentioned that the bread rolls on the table were the largest rolls he’d ever seen.” “I’m going to save a piece of mine for mama,” he said. “He had told us that ‘mama’ was not his real mother, and that his mother had gone to America to work and send money for him, but that no money had come recently. We started kicking each other under the table because that was our agreed signal for everyone to shut up. We didn’t want anyone to say out loud what we were all thinking.” Sister Marie Claire stopped him at this point before he could blurt out what it was that they were all thinking- that with no money coming for his keep, Jacob had been abandoned at the facility as some of the present boys had been by their families! “But Jacob said you were laughing at him!” reminded Sister. “Well, Sister,” said Richard sheepishly, “you know what a clown Peter could be. He snorted, and milk came out his nose just as Jacob finished saying ‘mama,’ and as we started kicking each other under the table. Everybody began laughing, but at Peter- not at Jacob!” THERE WAS A LONG SILENCE IN THE ROOM. Sister Rose broke the tension by clapping her hands and saying, “All right boys, time for bed. Tomorrow’s Saturday and you all have early chores. Settle down now.” There was the sound of bedlam as everyone rushed to do as they were told. Sister Marie Claire tucked Jacob in and gave him a pat on the shoulder saying, “Go to sleep now, Jacob, they didn’t mean you any harm.” Sleep did not come easily, however. He couldn’t understand how mama could have left him in this place. During the time it took for him to be seen by a doctor, his leg attended to, and paperwork done, he had seen all manner of strange people, and endured all kinds of evil smells. Some of the lepers were so deformed he wondered if they were human beings. Some were lying around in a dull, listless way. One man had ears several times the normal size with mushroom-sized nodules on the outer edges. Another man hobbled about on stumps for legs. He had no toes. It was a scene of misery and foulness and despair too horrible to be endured. And so it was that Jacob finally fell asleep, as confused and upset as he was when awake, and with no explanation for or understanding of anything that he was experiencing. As the nuns left the boys’ dormitory together, Sister Rose spoke words of caution to Sister Marie Claire. “Sister, I can see why you’re taken with young Jacob, but you have to remember our training for this posting. You cannot allow yourself to become attached to anyone here. Remember these boys all carry serious emotional scars which we’re not equipped to handle.” “Yes,” agreed Sister Marie Claire. “Your point is well taken. I think I’ll turn Jacob over to Mr. Thompson who can work out a program of study for him that will keep him occupied until Mrs. Horston can take him home.” “Do you really think she’ll return for him?” asked Sister Rose. “I don’t think so,” she said, answering her own question. “Even the children were savvy enough to see through the subterfuge. With no money coming in for his keep, she’s not going to be bothered.” Sister Marie Claire had her own thoughts on the subject but kept them to herself. In the course of one day, she had gone from being the no-nonsense nurse in charge of Admissions at an asylum maintained by the Government of Monos, to the nurturer of a seven-year-old boy who seemed to have attached himself to her heart. “Poor child,” muttered Sister Marie Claire, “He is really hurting right now.” “Anyway,” continued Sister Rose, shaking her head as if to clear it of the situation, “we’ll be sure to let her know when he is healed enough to go home, and we’ll see what happens.”
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About the Book
Jacob Henry is 7 years old in 1919 when he’s abandoned and left in a facility for the housing and treatment of those afflicted with leprosy. He is a healthy child. He is also aimless and friendless until a French nun at the institution links him up with Mr. Thompson, a non-leper and a teacher-in-residence who becomes his friend and mentor. For 3 years after this introduction Jacob attends daily classes with Mr. Thompson but does not speak. Jacob is also assigned to an older boy, Peter, in a ‘big brother, little brother’ relationship. However, Peter has a penchant for flouting the rules and getting into trouble. Jacob has internalized his hurt and is grieving privately, therefore he is more of an extra shadow to Peter than an active participant in Peter’s shenanigans. Jacob has the example of Peter’s doings on the one hand, and the guidance of Mr. Thompson on the other. Jacob’s grief overshadows the blessings of his life, and the hope of his future is lost in pain. As a result, knowing what to do in such circumstances is not always obvious. Jacob chooses to become someone of whom both he and Mr. Thompson could be proud. In a life of contrasts- from The Leprosarium to becoming a recognized achiever and positive role model, Don’t Waste Your Pain is intended to encourage readers to seek support and guidance from others in dealing with emotional trauma. This support gives one a better chance at a positive outcome. A chance that opens the path to healing and to finding the deep meaning of one’s human experience.
About the Author
Shirley Maynard is a woman with a past. Past MA Literature graduate of Fordham University, past guest editor of ‘Caribbean Contact” magazine, past teacher, past writer of other people’s papers, past computer systems analyst, past business administrator, past parent whose only two sons died tragically 13 years apart. You’d think she’d stop there- but NO! She goes on to write her first novel, ‘Don’t Waste Your Pain’. I wonder why that title?