Here

He was lucky and my beauty grew so that he had no chance but to pick me. I broke plans with another boy and we went to a party on that boy’s street. I was a genius, apparently. Anywho, I don’t think that my son’s father ever took me seriously, but I loved him dearly for many years until I became pregnant and then had to leave. I had my reasons, of course, which are not part of this story. I do want to divulge that had I known who I was and what it meant to have a child, I would have done things differently.

Luckily, I have learned never to blame myself for anything that I did not know. In energy currency, blame is a complete scam. It lures a person with the idea that they are good to feel bad for doing things that are simply not complete or not aligned with their heart. It delivers nothing life giving at all but takes its due. Some people still defend blame and even guilt because they say that it allows for them to do better. This logic escapes me. Feeling bad carries threads into the next thing, it extends bad into the future. If we want to do better than we did last time, it does not need to involve feelings of shame. These low vibrations lower the foundation and limit the possibility.

I have seen miracles many times from paying attention to the energy that surrounds us. I wish to describe the way that I see them occurring, one by one.

My green eyes have been a lamppost in the darkness for this game of life that is played in the dark. As they continue to gain more light, becoming brighter is their only wish and is my honor to hold.

It was not I that removed the brown from these borrowed almond shaped sensory vehicles, but I who asked into the darkness. Had I waited till the morning light when things are easier to see, the traction from welcoming the unknown (currency again) would not have carried me to green eyes. Things just don’t happen in plain sight very often: unless many dark moments before all lined up in a row for a particular happening of grand importance or pleasure of many.

Spending my life looking for the ones I can see has helped me to know about the ones I cannot see. Intimacy with the miracles that I cannot see has had me gazing into the mirror of this beautiful world for a long time and the reflection of the world I see contains only what I can imagine for myself. Each next moment built on the foundation of my love.

Green is a healing color, perhaps because of its presence in the woods and gardens and hills. If by my watching and witnessing, I can reveal color to dullness, who am I?

The sweet spot. A pity that I can’t just reveal this with three words like I don’t know. But, on Earth, beautiful Earth, we must explain ourselves to the detriment of what we mean. Here I go. It is more than worth it to feel less than perfect when we are bringing one kind of world to another. Our divine selves are perfect, and perfectly preserved while we are here. Our human body needs to learn in a vulnerable state a new love language. Love is spoken in words that are barely formed before they come out of the mouth. Actions are violent before gentle. Thought feels like constriction because it breathes in before it breathes out; but slowly, it flows and grows until it is questioned. A unanimous question from the wisdom of all souls. When a soul seed (implanted in consciousness before time) reaches a certain level of development, the previous language and understanding does not meet the needs of the new concept arising. A question forms causing the old ways to spiral like a snake, leaving only the things that were true and good for all. In a way, this could be all there is to the whole process of experience. Nevertheless, those thoughts carry remnants that build up on a person sometimes.

The main distinction of this experience of buildup is that a person forgets that this life is a game. Bravely and dare I say stupidly, humans give up joy, kindness, trust, honesty, creativity, encouragement and accountability for conditional happiness, manipulation, conspiracy, confessions, fitting in, competing and blaming others.