Why They Cheat

Eventually, the neurochemical rush of romance in early love stories is replaced over time with less intense but ultimately more meaningful forms of connection. Sadly, most men are not equipped to process those changes. Michael learned the hard way after 3 years in jail for domestic violence. Chapter 2 : Misunderstanding of commitment Soooooo I researched but it's not so hard to find two great definitions of commitment that I can use for this section. Definition number one said: The state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc. Definition number two said: An engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action. Now my WAS is obligated to dedicated himself by restraining his freedom of action to please his partner…..huuuummm let's see how that works He is expected to see the difference between romantic intensity and long-term love. WAS ultimately becoming a victim of limerence which you can research and understand more by reading the book of Dorothy Tennov, a renowned psychologist. Eventually the neurochemical rush of romance in early love stories is replaced over time with less intense, but ultimately more meaningful forms of connection. Sadly most men are not equipped to process those changes. Michael learned the hard way after 3 years in jail for domestic violence. Pamela was determined to be the best wife any man can have. She has been targeting Michael since the last year of high school. She had options but she wanted Michael...the man was so ordinary, 5"9, a little overweight but he had the potential to be a Doctor and Pamela was very ambitious. Michael was raised by his uncle, he lost his parents at a very early age from drug addiction. He was very introvert and calm. He was never involved with any campus activity, and had no known addiction. Pamela on the other hand was very confident, her Father was a judge and Mom was a beautiful and elegant stay home mother, a Homemaker. She was mixed with natural silky hair, her eyes a unique clear brown color. She decided to be a NICU nurse, she loves kids but didn't want any so that was a good alternative she thought. Pamela and Michael went to college together, after 6 years Pamela was done but Michael stayed for another 2 years. Talking about a power couple. Michael’s uncle had to tell him to propose to Pamela since they had been dating for almost 10 years. Pamela didn't want to wait any more minute and wanted to be married asap specially that financially they were able to make it happen like yesterday. The wedding was set in the Dominican Republic right at sunset. Beautiful ceremony, 250 guests was able to make it. The decoration was breathtaking..the thing is Pamela worked on it for years so eventually it was astonishing. Michael was very stressed out so Pamela decided to order a massage for him in the room while she was enjoying the beach with the family and friends. Sandra was the masseuse, petite Dominican shaped like a guitar. Michael was thinking that his massage would have been very annoying checking her frele silhouette. Little that you know, Michael ended up with a happy ending. Boy I tell y’all Somehow he managed to have a massage everyday for the two weeks they were in the DR. Pamela could swear that Michael changes since they got married, some about his swag but she couldn't put her finger on the reason. Back to the U.S. they continued their routine. Michael was working long hours as Pamela so they weren't really spending a lot of time together which was perfect for Michael. He was very responsible, respectful toward his wife and responding to any of her demands or requests. Everything was perfect in the best of both worlds we could say. Well it wasn't perfect if their story ended up in this book ! Somehow Pamela was planning to surprise her husband with the purchase of a boat, he loves boats. He works so hard and he was the perfect husband. She was showing off in front of her colleagues, friends, strangers, even her poor cousins that were still not married. While checking on the online account to see which card to charge the boat purchase she ended up seeing a few consistent charges. She started to wonder what those charges could have been. She called the company to inquire about the charges. A lady with some kind of Russian accent answered the call. She was told it was a spa service but no more information could be given to her concerning the type of clientele. Pamela was in total distress, she called her mom immediately. Mrs Carter was surprised but not alert as her son in law would go to a spa or Maybe was paying for someone. He was either at work or in the house, the man was involved in nothing, had no friends and was not social. Pamela decided to confront her husband the same night regardless of her mom's advice to let go and keep moving. Michael was calm as usual, he told her that he was getting a massage from time to time when he needed it. She couldn't believe he hid this activity from her and felt betrayed. They ended up falling asleep, she decided to look into his iPad hoping to have more details on when he was going. What she found on the iPad was the end of her marriage. She woke up Michael, started to hit on him. Michael punched her by reflex he said later but her jaw was broken as well as a black eye. Michael has videos of females on top of him, nurses from the hospital, her best friend, her mother ….. Anyhow, Michael ended up in jail for domestic violence and all went downhill from that night. The main concern here is that Michael never understood the level of commitment he was expected to display. Pamela's confidence prevented her from creating that passionate rush and maintaining it, she thought she was a prize for Michael, but Michael is just a W.A.S. ***How Pamela could have avoid Michael to cheat ? Michael, if you ask me, was not at fault. Pamela has manipulated herself since she met him. Pamela thought she was smart, a planner, she believed she had control over her life; which could have been true but her life and not Michael's. Michael is an individual with his own want, aspirations and willingness. The relationship was wrong from the beginning. Lack of passion, lack of boundaries, just a set of a dramatic play. Who is it to blame ? No one When we meet someone, we need to be as natural as possible. Real is rewarded, lies is paid forward, Karma is a B***h!