Take on God

Cotton Eyed Joe Alex We all know the lyrics to this song (if you don’t, please look it up). So, you heard the man, where did you come from, and where did you go, or rather where are you going... With your life? I recently have been feeling a bit stuck. Not sure why, though I have my suspicions. But what is fascinating is that recently I had a reiki session, and a word that came through was: NOWHERE. Isn’t that odd? In my explanation of this word, I would say what resonates most with me is the fact that I have felt stuck in the middle of nowhere. There is nothing to do here, nowhere to go, nothing to see, etc. What can be said about this place? Plenty, yet in not trying to say anything at all you would describe it as nowhere. If you haven’t been paying attention, my co-author and I have been doing our best at giving each chapter a title that is similar to, or is a song title. Personally, I think it ties everything together nicely, and establishes a pre-set for our story(ies). Anyway, back to my point… So where are you from, to give a little more than the vague detail of where I am from, I would say rural America in the heart of the Northwest. Similarly, I would describe this place using the theme song from the popular TV show Cheers. Everybody knows your name, and if they don’t, they know your family. This can have its perks as you’re never alone, and also it adds a sense of security and safety to our lives. At the same time, anyone who should choose to do anything against the grain, against the norm as well… an outsider. See, I did my best for 21 years to go with the “normal” flow of things, but felt this got me nowhere. I was no better or different than anyone else. I was average. I didn’t know what it meant to be unique. I guess you could say I have somewhat of an idea now. Stronger Jennifer “It’s time to wake up. You have work to do.” God said to me. I had fallen backward in the laundry room and proceeded to move the dryer when my head collided with it. I blacked out for twenty-two seconds, and in those seconds I realized I was dead. In a somber response to God I said, “I was dead a long time ago.” From my response I would come to realize I had suppressed my God given gifts in order to fit in with individuals around me. In doing so I felt I was a fraud and that I lacked in my authenticity. The real me, my inner being, had died several years prior to this trauma and had been stuck in limbo. Eventually, the day came when the risk to remain in my tight bud was more painful than the risk it took for me to blossom. I was not an actress, but I learned to act. I never cared for the game “hide-n-go-seek” and yet I was always hiding. I never felt safe in my own skin, until I left. Then I felt like a snake shedding its skin. Snakes shed their skin when they grow out of them and growing is a beautiful thing. In the past three years I have learned so much about myself. Things I never knew. Things that made me stop and go, “oh that makes sense now.” I have grown in countless ways- many of which I never expected, and these have fueled my strength. I look at the past and to the future and I see the synchronicities unfolding. I feel alive. I feel exhilarated. I feel peace on my journey for I know that even with all the ups and downs, twists and turns, I am finally moving in the right direction.