A Tree House Tapestry
Vignettes, Life Lessons and Reflections for Settling Into the 60s, 70s and Beyond
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Vignette 11 An Intentional Purpose and God’s Plan for Your Life Growing older, and intentionally reflecting on all the changes that life has brought us, is a powerful experience. It can be both life-giving and painful. It is always an opportunity to find and embrace a new place of acceptance and peace within us. Remembering is necessary to get us there. As we embrace the painful or sad places or memories, we begin to heal, learn and grow. Strength and gratitude take root within us and will empower us. The tapestry of my life gradually became a picture I could recognize, of a strong woman and a life that I knew in my heart was being intentionally lived. Once I believed I could see what God sees, I discovered the underneath side of my tapestry was simply filled with my life lessons! Now I understand that they have make me who I am today. I understand now that this is the side that God has always seen, as His plan was unfolding every day, of every year of my life. When I saw the picture on top, I understood… Life Lesson 11 and Reflections Trusting God Will Help You Find Your Way Aristotle was right. “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” I have mastered some of my life lessons better than others. Everything has become my teacher. What or who has become your teacher? Vignette 3 Grief Hurts for Children and Adults of All Ages Life does not just somehow magically go back to “normal” for any person, of any age, who is grieving for any reason. Grief hurts. It can be for a person or a beloved pet who dies, an illness, a health change, a major move. Our list can, sadly, be long. In my role as an elementary school counselor, I visited a wonderful place called Solace House in 2004 as a potential referral resource in my work. I was given a tour. Solace House was created for grieving children and their families as a place to come for support after someone they loved died. I encouraged my daughter, Julie, and her children, Leo and Ella, to check it out after their dad’s funeral and when they felt ready. They did. They experienced being welcomed into a community of others, helping to soothe the pain of feeling so alone and overwhelmed in their grief. When I personally visited with the director of Solace House, she gave me a book titled: Love Letters & Notes For holding on to what matters most through loss and change in life It was written by Janie Mitchell Ewell. Janie was a co-founder and executive director of Solace House from 1996 to 2002. I rediscovered the book August 6, 2020. It had a place in the back of the book inviting the reader to use it to write personal notes. I wrote: “This book was given to me when I visited Solace House in 2004. I moved back to Kansas City in 1993, after graduating with a Bachelor of Arts in human services and a Master of Science in counseling. Sadly, I need to start my life over.” I was now single, after being married for 25 years to my seventh-grade childhood sweetheart, John Oades. I needed to find a job and establish myself in a new career as a counselor. I also knew I needed to remember that “one” is a whole number. That alone was harder for me to do than I ever anticipated. My very first day as a returning college student, I read a quote from a daily devotional: “You may not touch the wounded until you have scarred hands.” It was both prophetic and true. I was a client myself for two years while I was in Evanston, Illinois, at the main campus for my graduate program. Rose was my wonderful therapist for two years. Life Lesson 3 and Reflections Honoring the Living Death of a Divorce For me, the ending of my marriage in a divorce felt like a living death. A very important part of my life and my identity ended. Hyphenating my name was my way of honoring the “living” part I will always remember with love. Has something happened to you or to someone in your life that has left you feeling a significant change or loss? Are you still needing some kind of closure … or peace?
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About the Book
Growing older often catches us by surprise! This is a book for “grown-ups” who want to embrace their aging – not fear it. All of us make choices every day about how we look at the tapestry of our lives. Do we focus on it from the picture side? Or do we focus more on the underneath side and all the crisscrossing threads and knots? This view will look confusing and feel discouraging. This side also hides the true life-giving potential of all things. A grown-up who is “real” is one who looks at the tapestry of their life from the picture side now. Gradually, and gratefully, what I have grown to understand and better define about myself, John Kelly, and my parents, and other family members and friends is aging is a special part of the cycle of life designed by our God. God invites us to embrace aging, not fear it. I am offering an opportunity for you to reflect on and honor both sides of the tapestry of your life. I wrote my book of vignettes, life lessons, reflections and prayers for all of us who are grown-ups now, and, who also remember being children. My hope is that it will bless each reader helps you reflect, and remember, with tender compassion and loving acceptance. My dear parents are 94 and 97 as 2020 closes. They transitioned so well from and independent into an assisted-living apartment. They truly have become two of my best role models! I dedicate this book to them.
About the Author
As a Licensed Professional Counselor and a National Certified Counselor, Kathy Kelly has had the privilege of meeting and working with clients in a rich variety of settings. Her professional life has included working as a counselor in a social service agency, two elementary schools, as a parish counselor, and since 2006, exclusively in her private counseling practice, The Ministry of Wellspring, LLC. Her mission and goals have always been to support healthy living and healthy relationships. She believes that each of us have a wellspring within that can restore balance in our lives, empower strengths and inner resources, and encourage healthier living and healthier relationships.