Black Mountain
A Collection of Poems
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
I’m not a killer That’s just not me But I had to do it It was him or me I looked though the scope And I did not see The one in the crosshairs As a human being When I took a life I didn’t see the blood But locked inside Was an emotional flood A flash, a pop I hit the ground Can’t even tolerate A normal sound And the nightmares Nearly every night Wake in a sweat I’m in the fight But my chin is up Though I’ve been changed The scars I carry My mind in chains I hope to find the mental key And allow myself to be reborn Learning to walk all over again Though I wore a uniform Black Mountain is a place That I go to in my mind When I’m feeling lost or lonely Or to leave the daily grind That is where I go When I’m feeling down Or when I’d rather take my life I go there til I’m found My thoughts cause chaos in my mind And they intrude upon my day If I take things a breath at a time Relaxed and grounded I can stay This is my friend the black mountain No judgment or hatred from anyone else A safe place where I can gain my strength Just a way of taking care of myself Sometimes I run to a place A doorway that I go through Even if just mentally To get away from you When I hear the footsteps It is you that I fear Once you’d been so kind So many faces that you wear You had no right to abuse me You are a sick one I couldn’t fight you off I was way too young You can no longer hurt me Because now I’m being heard Though maybe not in this life You’ll still get what you deserve I hold that child close The one that once was me We will never be alone again Now that we are free She was a little different We knew it right away She had a target on her back From the very first day It must have all weighed on her greatly Because before her time she died I live with the guilt of that fateful day She died from suicide I pray her trauma’s ended And to a beautiful place she went Because I in part took from her When I labeled her different We all have to be accountable For how we act and what we say We may do damage for a lifetime And not just for a day I just hope she rests in peace And I pray for others everyday Cuz no one should be a victim Of another’s hate and rage I don’t know why we can’t get along And with others just be kind We’re more alike than different Why can’t differences be blind Within the magical rays of the universe Is there a light that can’t be seen The restless dawn’s tempestuousness Within the darkness’ overshadowing A blackness breaks the still of day ‘Twas a primary sail on a settled sea The compass gyrates with the waves The sailors luck is none to be The skies concede to darkened ways The sea maintains its savage beasts A vendetta in its corners stays Until light and evil finally meet In the caverns of the nefarious Is a place where there is no light But omnipotent thunder reigns supreme That which wakes by day and stays all night Light breaks beyond perpetual space Immortal though latent to the eye The travelers Kevlar skin repels the dark Unveiling the truth of the guiding light Life is not an 8 X 10 It’s like a river always moving Having challenges and dams Sometimes never ending All you want and all you need Is already here on earth It’s been here since the beginning But you must be centered first Like sand through your fingers Time is not an 8 X 10 A fearless step towards the future Instead of being stuck where you’ve been When your candle’s burning low Remember it’s nothing more than wax But a memory hanging on your wall Is something that will last So along this road of life Take photos once again Endless possibilities Life as an 8 X 10 You’re not as nimble And you start to slip You’re a little slower And you begin to forget If your vision gets bad And you can no longer hear And your gait is unsteady Just know I’ll be there I know it’s hard to accept That you’re not quite as strong When you have felt able Through the years all along Though it may be harder to think I hope your mind is at ease Especially if one day You don’t remember me It doesn’t have a voice of its own But that doesn’t make it less perilous It can rear its ugly head And claim the very best of us The darkness of depression Non-discriminate in its attack The thing that goes bump in the night An invisible entity turning light to black If we give a voice to mental illness And a vision to the invisible entity Perhaps the strength of its madness Will be lessened by our unity I adventure into The padded cell of my mind Reality or perception Confusion’s what I find And those locking bars Keeping everything inside Are really straight jackets The buckles can’t be pried The cobwebs they collect In the corners of my mind Things I’d rather just forget Little remnants left behind Lifting of the barbells The mind will become strong There’s light within the darkness The demons are all gone You take from me What’s important and true My mind and body Turned over to you When you’re around You strangle me Mentally and physically I cannot breathe I shutter and shake When you’re around And when you’re not My heart still pounds
Select Format
Book Details
About the Book
Like most others, the author has experienced adversity and loss whether personally or by witnessing others’ experiences. The author is very sensitive and significantly empathizes with others and animals in different situations. Through the writing of poetry, the author has experienced catharsis in many ways. Tears were genuinely shed with the writing of nearly every poem. The author includes a chapter based on a fictional character known as The Traveler. This diversion from other serious poetry allowed the author to delve into writing fantasy and takes the reader on a different type of journey. No matter the reader’s pain or adversity, at least one of the authors poems is sure to resonate and hopefully encourage the reader to seek help or at least realize they are not alone. An old saying is certainly true... “We are more alike than we are different”. While the writings discuss life matters such as suicide, hopelessness, adversity, and loss there are also rays of hope, love, inspiration, and peace. For those experiencing suicidal thoughts, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text CONNECT to 741741. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.
About the Author
The author’s 25+ years of experience as a Registered Nurse as well as obtaining a Master’s degree in Counseling and working as an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist contributed to her writing specific poetry. In 2018, in the midst of life’s experience, the author began writing poetry and the words just seemed to flow. Writing provided insight and catharsis to the past, present, and future. The author was no longer alone in her thoughts and feelings. The author’s family, friends, salt water fish, and two dogs (Shouku and Ace) provide necessary peace and relaxation. Her sincere wish to help even one person with her poetry brings gratitude to her heart.