Broken

We just sit there talking for a couple of hours before he brings up the subject of running away with him. I tell him I don’t think I can. But he tells me my mom is going to be mad and will probably take it out on me for going to get the letter. I had thought I could go get the letter and return before she woke up. It has been a long time now and I am getting scared. I’m pretty sure she won’t hurt me in front of the workers. But many times, when she wants to beat me and there are people around, she tells me wait till we are alone. Then when we are alone, she thinks that I was taking advantage of people around. She’ll say you think your so smart and that you’re not going to get it just because people are around. Then I am punished even more severe because she had to wait to punish me. He’s right she will punish me I am getting scared, I am in trouble and I don’t know what to do. He says we can run away, he will protect me. He won’t let her hurt me. I must decide he says. He will take me back if I want. I sit and cry hard for awhile, finally I tell him I will go with you, I can’t go back. Maybe if I go, she’ll be sorry and never beat me again when I come back. I could not conceive that I would be gone longer than a couple of days to avoid her anger. Maybe things could turn out ok. We sit for a bit longer then we see police cars going to his place. He says your mom must have called the police. I say what about my brother. He says they will take him back to your mom. We have a lot of climbing to do. Your brother is to little. He would not be able to keep up. Although my mother did beat my brother too. He had learned to be the jokester in the family and could make her laugh. Plus, he didn’t wet the bed, and wasn’t a girl. I felt like that’s why she hated me more. We started to climb and went deep into the mountains the hiking kept me from worrying. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other. Deeper into the mountains and hills we went. Until we rested. He put his jacket around me while I slept on the hard ground, He did not try to be intimate with me. We stayed in the mountains for a couple of days. In that time, he disappeared for a few hours leaving me alone. He came back with some warm clothes and a back pack full of food and a water canteen. Sleeping bag radio, flashlight. I did not know what his plan was until just before we were to leave. He said we are going to get on a train. There would be a train that night and after It got dark, we would be able to catch the train. I asked why we can’t just take the bike. For some reason I had it in my mind that we would ride off like we had before and hang out by a lake for a few more days until we knew that my mom would be really sorry and come to her senses and promise to never beat me again. He said the train would be less conspicuous.