This memoir is about living with fibromyalgia and other mental health illnesses that one encounters on our spiritual path on earth or lack of it. How changing perceptions is key to our soul’s growth and survival. How learning to forgive myself and others and appreciating the lessons they’ve taught me. How my life experiences and attitudes may have caused and contributed to all the unnecessary pain and depression I've experienced. My realization that my broken self and soul has led me to seek spiritual healing has been a journey of finding my true passions and purpose in life despite the diagnosis of multiple mental illnesses turned physical.
As the saying goes life experiences have a way of allowing us to become more resilient in life. Whatever negative experience doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. Because, I’ve learned to overcome and accept my conditions I am now living the life of my dreams and have learned the power of positive thinking. I choose to be happy because of where I've come from and where I am now, knowing that life is what we make it.
My negative experiences and misfortunes are now considered life lessons learned. I admit that I've lived in the victim hood mentality most of my life and have put up with being mistreated by a few low-vibrational beings, and I forgive them. I now know that they were brought into my life to show me how to become a stronger, caring and assertive person. I love and admire all my past and current partners, friends and family and am learning to appreciate and forgive them for any offences.
I am truly thankful for and appreciate those people who have contributed to who I am today. I acknowledge that love is a choice and the acts of love are kindness, patience, acceptance and understanding.
I have become aware of our weaknesses as spiritual beings having a human experience. We all have choices and can change or begin a new life at any time on our journey.
With love, patience, perseverance and faith in our spiritual divine essence I will continue to strive for a joyous life and hope to inspire those around me to find their peace and joy needed to be healthy and whole again. With the knowledge and wisdom acquired along the way, including the medicine wheel and other holistic healing modalities I’ve been on a road to recovery. By practicing these methods, I’ve become aware of my own self healing abilities to help me maintain a balanced, active, fulfilling lifestyle.
As explained by elders and other spiritual guides, we begin with the four directions with the center of the wheel representing the Sacred Mystery that to me relating it to Feng Shui principals means Health. Or from a biopsychosocial perspective means mental health.
The teachings of the medicine wheel create a biopsychosocial and spiritual foundation for human behavior and interaction. We are all one on the planes of existence that affect our physical behaviours, our mental thoughts, feelings and spiritual beliefs.
My sacred journey in life has proven to make me a stronger more grateful person who is continuously learning to have love and have compassion for others. In order to do this one has to be compassionate and loving towards themselves first. I’ve always known this, but it hasn’t been easy when your self image is diminished for the sake of building up others. I have always felt guilty and selfish for practicing self love.
It is obvious that, with all the roles we have in life, as a mother, wife, worker, daughter and friend. That getting hung up on life, being so busy as a caregiver, running errands and demands of others has made it difficult at times to practice self care and self love. After many years of counselling and introspection I now love myself more now than ever and take time for my physical and spiritual needs. Even sometimes compromising intimacy seems elusive to your own desires and dreams.
Like millions of people out there, I’ve been dealing with mental health issues such as addictions, depression, low self esteem and these debilitating chronic conditions they call fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome and depression throughout my life. Growing up in a prosperity deficient, with a family soup of individuals with dysfunctional habits was not the most enlightening or positive experience one can have, however if you love drama, I’ve had it all.