Discover Your Unknown Inner Self

When this all began, I had no idea where it was leading—I simply followed a path that unfolded before me, one step at a time. Often I was completely amazed and would pause and say to myself, “This must be real, as I couldn’t possibly be making it up!” I explored unknown paths within myself and discovered parts that I came to call, my aspects. These aspects, with whom I had revealing dialogues, had great wisdom and love for me. My experience with them became transformative, and like most transformations, it was sometimes raw and uncomfortable and other times so filled with love, I wept. I invite you to join me as I share my exploration into the unknown through these intimate dialogues, which are completely uncensored and straight from my heart. Even though this information is deeply personal, it longs to be shared with others. I cannot explain this--possibly, we are all connected on some level. January 10, 2012. Fear struck as I heard “And, this summer you may experience some health challenges, but nothing to fear. You will get through this. You just need to relax. You will be alright.” Relaxing was the last thing I could do after hearing these words from a gifted intuitive. Five years previously, I was treated for breast cancer -- fear around any mention of health issues was an automatic reaction. At the end of March 2012, my anxiety led me to a medical intuitive, who told me that if I did “inner child work,” I could avoid all health issues. My life-changing journey begins. I make an appointment with Georgie, a spiritual counselor, who has assisted many others in their inner child work. The night before my first appointment with Georgie, I have an unusual dream I call “Prisoner.” I am a prisoner in a camp where the guards are called Rigid Taskmaster and Stern Enforcer. When I ‘m allowed to leave they warn me, “It is very dangerous out there.” April 7, 2012. I have my first session with Georgie. When I tell her about the unusual dream, she says the “dream aspects” have been with me a long time and they have a purpose and gifts to share. She suggests I investigate this. April 24, 2012. Intrigued, I accept this suggestion. I sit quietly, alone, and in my mind, I ask Rigid Taskmaster and Stern Enforcer if they have anything to share with me. I am so surprised to see images of them in my mind’s eye and hear them speak that I am not prepared to record their words, but I remember them. We are your protectors. You were too frightened to take on the role of keeping yourself safe. We are freeing you. RIGID TASKMASTER: I am the one who helps you get something done with determination and commitment. I am tenacity. STERN ENFORCER: I am the one who gives you the push to get something done. I am courage. I diligently go through John Bradshaw’s book, Homecoming, Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child, completing each exercise and doing each meditation. I am determined to avoid health issues and I’m willing to do my part. In the process I uncover many flawed core beliefs and a whole range of dysfunctional family roles. June 12, 2012. I learn I can dialogue with my flawed core beliefs just as I can with my dream aspects. One of these beliefs is Unlovable. Here is a part of our first dialogue. EMILY: I am now ready to open a dialogue with my Unlovable part. My throat is tight and I am very tense, but I persevere. UNLOVABLE: Oh, I am here alright and I am holding on tightly. That is why you are having a tight throat and chest. Keep breathing. You do not have to fear me. I am here for a huge purpose. You wanted to fully experience God’s love and the love of others in this life. You could not have this experience if you felt their love all along. Relax into the idea of being loved. This is not a matter of just changing my name. You must allow God’s love. It is eternal. It has always been here and always will be. EMILY: How do I do this? Can you help me? UNLOVABLE: First you need to change my name. EMILY: All right. I smile and the words precious and beloved come to me. I hear: UNLOVABLE: Precious belongs to Unworthy. I am Beloved! EMILY: Unbelievable! Please help me to believe that this is real! BELOVED: Feel my presence. Just feel. Feel the sadness, the pain, the fear-- the fear of this not being real. Oh, but I am real. I am your Beloved and you are beloved. Let out the sadness. Let out the fear. Make your release sounds. Tears flow and I make sad sounds. EMILY: Oh, yes, that helps. Thank you. BELOVED: Now, feel my presence surrounding you. Feel my presence within you. This is my love. Allow me to merge with you when you are ready. There is no rush. Just allow. EMILY: I am trying. I feel nothing. BELOVED: Just know that I am here. When you are ready, we will merge. There is no hurry. I will never, ever leave you. EMILY: Thank you. I feel unworthy. BELOVED: I know you do. Do not rush. This process is all in Divine order. Just relax and allow. It is time to rest.