We really do live fully by serving others. If we only exist for ourselves and our immediate family then there really is no greater reason for our existence. If we live to give, serve and make a difference in the world by solving problems for others, then our lives really matter. This is living beyond ourselves. This is living fully.
Chapter 9: Healing Yourself and Others
We all need healing to some degree or another. Every one of us has some childhood wounds or some adult hurts that have caused us to close our hearts to some degree to protect ourselves. These hurts, whether it is abandonment, betrayal, breaking of trust, rejection, being judged or being criticised, humiliated, made to feel self-conscious or being totally vulnerable and getting hurt, loving too much or being repeatedly disappointed by someone, can cause us to build walls around our heart.
For us to live a fully rewarding and magnificent life, we need to heal our wounds and open our hearts. Why? The reason is because our spiritual evolution depends on it. This is our journey. This is our path. This is the work we have to do in this human experience to progress and advance. Our souls chose to come into this physical experience specifically for our spiritual growth and evolution. Our souls are Love and we should return to Love, in our human experience, with fully-opened hearts. For us to teach anyone about love, we need to BE love.
For us to be of benefit to anyone, we need to start with ourselves, because you cannot give away what you do not have. Or rather, we can only give what we have. We can only give what we are. So, if you have anger, resentment or bitterness inside, no matter how long passed or suppressed, you will attract people into your life, non-stop, that bring this out in you. You will attract people that cause these negative emotions to trigger you to give off more anger, resentment and bitterness, because you can only give what you have inside. People who don’t have any love, cannot give love, and this cycle will not change until you learn the lesson and heal yourself. People wonder why they have toxic people in their lives or disappointing relationships. The truth is because they are a vibrational match to what they receive. People outside of you are only a reflection of what is going on inside of you. Every person or situation is a reflection of the vibration we are in, the vibration we are broadcasting, or what we are feeling inside emotionally (whether we are aware of it or not). Life is really a mirror of what is happening inside of us. People don’t like to hear this, and remark that they are not toxic, they are not judgemental, they are not unreliable, so why are they attracting these kinds of people into their lives? The answer is because somewhere, somehow, you are doing this to yourself! You may not be all those negative characteristics to others, however, somewhere in your own life you are treating yourself this way. So, if you have people who judge you, where in your life are you judging yourself? If people let you down and cannot be trusted, where in your life do you let yourself down and can’t trust yourself. If people break promises to you, where do you break promises with yourself? Can you see that everything is a reflection of what is going on inside ourselves? I LOVE this, even though it can be very confrontational. I love it because all the clues as to where and how we need to heal ourselves are all around us. People are our mirrors. Relationships show us what we need to heal. It all starts with us. It all starts with self-love.
Self-love and self-appreciation are the keys to opening your heart and healing your wounds. People often complicate life and think they need months or years of therapy or counselling to make advancements and heal their wounds. This is not necessarily so. Start actively practising self-love and you will make significant progress in a short space of time. Just start.
Our behaviours (lack of self-love for example) are all driven by our sub-conscious programming or our paradigm. If we don’t love ourselves, it shows in our behaviours. This can be how we treat our bodies, how we take care of our health, how we treat other people, how we treat animals, how much we invest in our personal development, what degree of job satisfaction we have, how much time we spend doing what we love and how much we are loved by others. All these experiences are a measurement of our self-love. Therefore, in order to change our behaviours, we need to change our programming. In other words, we need to change the beliefs and attitudes we hold about ourselves, and we need to change our habits. The easiest way to do this is to work at the source, the sub-conscious mind. Habits and beliefs are in our sub-conscious mind. Of course, we could work on our behaviours straight up, using will power and effort, however that is usually not sustainable and we will eventually revert to our old behaviours if our programming has not been altered. We need to change our self-image, the image we hold in our minds of who we are, and love THIS person more. This is why suddenly changing habits and changing behaviours is so difficult. Think of fitness as a good example or meditating daily. If it was so easy to suddenly change behaviours we would all be skinny, fit, rich yogis. Changing behaviour permanently requires changing our programming, then it all flows effortlessly from there.