Raised from the Other Side

November 28, 1979 at 4:45 pm, I remember to that exact day. I was at figure skating. My dad was sick with lung cancer; he was in the city for treatment. I knew he was on his way back to his home town later that day. In one way, I wanted to believe he was okay, but I knew he was coming home to die. As I got off the ice, my friend’s mom said I could go to their house, from which my mom would pick me up. At that moment, something was wrong. My mom never missed picking me up. I had an overwhelming feeling that my dad was dying. A nervous feeling came over me that was indescribable. When I was at my friend’s house, I could not concentrate. I felt like I was having an out-of-body-experience to a numbness all over my body. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. My first thought was my dad had died, and now they were coming to pick me up. The door opened and there stood an aunt, uncle, and my mom. They were trying to act normal, but I saw through it. We left and I was taken to a family member’s house. When I walked in, all I could feel was an over whelming sense of sadness. Everyone was trying to act normal. I was taken into the living room and sat on the sofa. My mom told me that my dad had just passed away. I began crying, and other family members came running into the room. I was so confused. I just knew my dad was okay. But how? He just died. We returned home the next day to my mom grabbing my dad’s jacket and holding it so tight and crying hysterically. At that moment, I grew up. I went from the age of 10 to the age of 20 in a short time frame. I knew I had to look after my mom. She was not going to be able to cope with my dad’s death. As company began to arrive I started to clean the house and be a support for anyone who had arrived. I was so confused. I knew my dad passed, but I felt like he was around us and was okay. The night of the viewing was another part I did not understand at all. I sat next to my mom. I kept staring at his physical body in the casket. I knew it was just a physical body; there was nothing in it. “It” had left. That “It” was the soul, I later found out. How did I know it left? Where did it go? I just knew without a physical explanation that his soul had gone to a place where it is peaceful, and not far away. I felt that it had to be from where my imaginary friends came: another world. The world to which I had a deep connection , and tried to understand to the best of my ability. I had so many questions for my mom, none of which she could answer. As weeks passed, I talked nonstop about my dad to my mom. She was so uncomfortable and sad that she could not even cope to hear anything that I had said. As I went to bed one night, I laid down and saw my dad standing next to the bed; I told my mom. Her reaction was, as you can imagine, “You’re crazy!” I knew I was not crazy. I could see my dad, just like I could see my imaginary friends. In fact, I believed he joined my friends in that world about which only I knew. Then, I began to see my dad on a regular basis. As I saw him more and more, and knew he was around me, my mom buried her head-in-the-sand deeper-and-deeper. I soon began to realize my mom’s soul “gave up.” Her response to everything was, “I give up.” She had lost the most amazing man in her life. For what was there left to live? It was me; she knew she had to keep on going for me. She tried. She did the best she could under the devastating circumstances. My life at this point took an unimaginable turn. Something that no one ever could have imagined. My dad stepped in to begin raising me from the other side. He kept his commitment as a father; he was there for me in energy form. Many strange unexplainable things began to happen in my house. It was amazing and confusing, at the same time. Again, leaving me in a world to make sense of something, that no one else could. As the stress took over my mom, she drank alcohol on a more regular basis. I could feel her pain. Her loss was so huge; I could feel the gaping hole it left in her heart. I watched her for countless hours sitting on the edge of her bed leaning over her nightstand in the dark with only a bedside lamp crying tears that fell into her glass of alcohol that sat on the table. Her pain shone through her actions loud and clear. I felt responsible. How could I make her pain ease or even go away? She was killing herself. I knew she was holding on here for me. She longed to be on the Other Side with my dad, her soul mate. She tried to pick the pieces up to raise me, but unfortunately, at times, she couldn’t. Her drinking became an addiction, leading her out of the house. She drank at friends ending the night in the local bar. I was left alone. Alone in a house that frightened me. I heard strange noises all the time, and I just felt the presence of energy: Spirits. At the time, I referred to them as Ghosts. I could feel my dad beside me, every step of the way. It frightened me to see and sense Spirit. I did not know many of them or why they were coming to me. I knew my dad was there to protect me, and would not allow harm to me. My dad made his presence known. Sometimes I saw him, but always felt him next to me. One night, I recall sitting on a chair by the phone calling the bar to ask for my mom. A situation that repeated itself over-and-over. It was late, after midnight, I was scared and tired. I looked at my bedroom door that had been closed, open in front of my eyes. I knew it was my dad saying, “Go to bed.” I had many signs from my dad gently guiding me here in the Physical World. I could really feel and see my dad standing beside my bed at night; he was just protecting me. I would see him before I fell asleep, and, if I ever woke up in the night, I would see standing there; he never left the same spot. I physically missed him so much. I would tell my mom of my experiences at night, but she was just not in a place to hear it as she could not make sense of it or understand it. So again, many times I just learned to keep quiet. Even in the middle of the ice arena, I felt my dad when I figure skated. I would be in the center all by myself ready to begin a solo competition, and I was nervous already, but knew my dad was right there beside me. I would talk to him in my head for a moment, while I was waiting in anticipation for the music to start. I learned to make decisions based on the feeling that I got from my dad. I followed my gut feeling as I knew it was him parenting me. I still had to make my own choices because my soul is here to grow and learn, but I gained confidence in making those choices knowing he was there gently guiding me.