The Joy of Understanding Emotions

During all those years when she was living a life, she never wanted to live. Rosa did not understand the impact of these powerful emotions on her. She gave them so much focus that her life became a pain. Unknowing that it was not the emotion, but her focus on it that was making way for the pain to creep in. She often found herself fighting against these emotions because she looked at them as a threat to herself. To her, it seemed like she was stuck in a whirlpool of all negative emotions, fear, guilt, sorrow, self-pity and so many more. But, with the understanding that all human beings are always standing on the edge of a maelstrom. Every time an emotion strikes, there is a possibility that they may fall in the maelstrom or they can maintain their balance and manage to stand still. When she was struck by a positive emotion, spinning in the joyous lovable maelstrom was amusing. But if it was a negative emotion, then each spin of the maelstrom became breath stealing. The deeper she fell, the harder it got to come out of it. Hence, she understood the importance of maintaining balance and standing still when she got struck by a negative emotion. Knowing that it’s easier said than done, Rosa realized that the only way she could manage to stand still was by understanding the meaning and the power of that emotion and then deciding if it deserved her focus. It is a simple choice that people regard as the hardest. To help herself she started making notes about how she felt, tried to explain the meanings of the emotions that helped her understand the reason for their occurrence. This research on herself enlightened her knowledge that the occurrence of the emotion is natural and is not necessarily harmful, it’s the attention she gave to it that might lead to some harmful effects. Rosa realized that any emotion is not harmful at all if it does not get the attention it seeks. It is like a snake that has no interest in you until you move. And once you move, you become a threat to the snake and the snake becomes a threat to you. And soon begin the fight, the fight that you can never win. When Rosa started to understand her own emotional state and decided to take over her emotions, she won over her life. It became easier for her to take responsibility of how she felt, make her own choices and feel empowered. This is not the end of her story, but the beginning of her life.. The solution to surviving the maelstrom is to understand the power of the emotion and how they trap people. I request you all to keep this word list with you at all times and use it to find and understand the meaning of the emotion that you are feeling, because understanding it will make it easier for you to weigh its importance in your life. This understanding will change your life just like it changed Rosa’s….. Anger Anger is a secondary emotion that is used to cover the primary negative emotion. Rosa called it the cover for the gutter. You have an image in your minds about things you want or the expectations you have from other people. When situations do not occur your way or people do not act according to your expectation, when you lose control of the situation and you feel powerless or hurt or scared. The aggressive and destructive act that emerges from within you in the form of an urge to grab your control again is born from a negative emotion called ANGER. The Key Taking responsibility of how you feel will reduce anger. Your own feelings of helplessness causes you to use anger to cover your vulnerability and justify your negative emotion. Try and understand the diversity of nature and human brain and start ACCEPTING instead of EXPECTING, then you will not feel Angry. You have to start looking at other people as individuals, understand that no one was born on this earth to meet your expectations. Everyone is born to live their own life, which may mean that they have to co-live with you, but it still is their life, their way, their choices, even if it is against your expectations, ACCEPT it. Find out the primary emotion that your anger is trying to hide. Someone may have caused you hurt? Or is it frustration caused by the tiredness of looking after the children? Is it your ego’s need to showcase anger? To be able to deal with anger, you have to find and deal with the primary emotion that is causing anger in you. Fear Trust in the negative perception is Fear. It is a NON EXISTING emotion that can never be found in the NOW moment. It is the negative perception about future that you put in your present is what makes you feel scared NOW. It is Just a perception. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, and fear of unknown, nothing exists in now. Jealousy A negative feeling that arises when you focus on others more than yourselves. This negative feeling is born out of comparison. Where ever there is comparison, there lives jealousy. The Key The best way to avoid this feeling is to simply stop comparing. Focus on what you have and not on what you do not have. Every one of you has different levels of stamina, one can walk miles and the other may not, similarly, the level of comfort required by all will be different as well. Life is a journey for all of us and no 2 journeys are exactly the same. So, to be jealous of someone's journey means you doubt your own ability to bring about what is best for you. This is why you choose to be jealous instead of taking an action to the best of your ability to provide for yourself what is best for you.