Love and the Infinite, My Memoirs

(2) Overcoming our Past: Feeling Good at Start of Day; Forgive and Love of Self; Adsorbing Infinite Love. Our early conditioning from parents generally taught a fear of failure, that we wouldn’t make it or succeed, which trained us to endure negativity and misalignment throughout our childhoods. This funneled into our need as we grew up to have to listen to others much of the time, to get commands of action from others, to establish judgments, ‘this is good versus this is bad’ or ‘this is black versus this is white’, and this further fostered in us the need ‘to be right’ rather than ‘feeling good’ on any issue, debate, or solution to any of life’s typical problems. From the standpoint of child abuse or even for abuse suffered during adulthood, many of these negative experiences have impinged on the victim’s ability to perceive and experience the true fullness and awareness of ‘who they really are’, and that true healing re-establishes that true fullness of self- knowingness from the flood of Infinitely good energy which flows to the person from within themselves (via the person’s Infinite ‘Soul’). The principal insight that stands out to me from this is the importance of self-love. Axiomatic to reaching a person’s spiritual core within, it is first necessary for the abused victim to manifest self- love of themselves, but not in a narcissistic, selfish way. What this means is developing a strong, positive feeling of trust for self-love and appreciation for one’s beautiful body, mind, one’s work, hobbies, and other enjoyment interests they have in this physical life. This is not necessarily manifested by overly pampering oneself with material things in this life. Rather, that this self- love, with strong emotional feelings of belief in oneself, represents the easiest doorway to one’s Infinite loving part or ‘Soul’, and release of Infinite love to heal the body from all leftover effects of early-in- life, or even any adult-life traumas.

Therefore each day, I desire when I awake to begin my day by feeling positive, to be happy and feel good.

1.But first, in order to do that I must be totally forgiving to # 1, MYSELF, and from that love myself. I may have been unkind, or been an abuser in the past to certain others, caused by unconscious anger and guilt from repressed and unlocked feelings of love denied way in the past during my childhood. I totally remove all feelings of anger and guilt from that past. Only by truly forgiving myself, can I open the door to real love of self.
2.Second, I must be totally forgiving of all those who have had negative, hurtful effects on me in my life, including both my parents, and anyone else who has negatively impacted my life.
3.Third, I promote sweetness, kindness, and love for my beautiful body and mind, my pursuits (my work and writing my book), my hobbies- being outdoors, going to the beach, growing plants, etc.
4.I see something beautiful, fantastic, and magical as I gaze at my eyes in a mirror and just rest there, seeing through my eyes real positive energy vibration from my spiritual core (‘Soul’), and that makes me feel good.
5.I then reflect on someone I love and look into their eyes, just resting there for a moment, and I connect with their spiritual core which then meshes with mine, producing a ‘Nirvana’ feeling of connecting two Infinite loves from our ‘Source’ or ‘God’.
6.Fourth, I must resolve to live my life (today) fearlessly. In particular, any good or loving intention(s) that I have or express towards others must be viewed through my eyes fearlessly.
7.Fifth, when I know that I am love, I don’t need to work at being loving toward others, but rather by being true to myself and loving myself through nurturing my ‘Soul’ and body, I become an instrument of loving energy which touches everyone I come in contact with.
8.Then I project sweetness and kindness toward all people I will have contact with in the day ahead. Even if any of them might combat me, I still forward to them love and acceptance.
9.I then meditate for a few moments on the total dimension of Source’s (God’s) Infinite love. We cannot define it in language or human terms: the closest we (in this life) can get to it is unconditional love, i.e., ‘I will love you no matter who you are, or what you’ve endured, what you’ve done, what you represent, or what you have (possession-wise)’, etc. But way beyond this, the absolute and unimaginable joy, love, bliss, euphoria, and acceptance of God’s Infinite love is overflowing, deeper, wider and more voluminous than all of the oceans of the world combined, or the immense Universal void of a seemingly limitless outer space.

(A)Neville talks about Infinite love, (St. Paul terms it ‘agape’), as way beyond the most intimate loving relationship between 2 people in this life that you could ever imagine;
(B)Bettie Eadie describes from her NDE, sitting in Jesus’ lap, feeling a fantastic love that was unlike any love here: way beyond the best maternal, romantic, or friendship love that she could ever imagine, and vastly more than all of these combined. Via total love and appreciation of myself (first), this Infinite love is readily available and reachable within me via conscious contact with my spiritual essence or ‘Soul’, and the translation and transformation of this love throughout my entire body occurs as I consciously, and with energy/feelings, accept and allow it to permeate through my entire being. God best manifests this Infinite love through me as I truly am, not the materialistic and plastic being I’m made to be in this physical life. I AM Infinite power, perfection, clarity, love and peace through my entire being; I AM Love and the Infinite!