Letters to Our Lovers

Dear Right Person, Wrong Time ...It’s so damn tempting, though. For us both. To take the shortcut. To acquiesce to the loopholes that seem so clearly laid out for us. We can let ourselves think things like, “Technically, it can be the right time…” And it feels benign, instinctive, right to just float effortlessly through those loopholes together. We can fit (almost) perfectly through them. All it would take is to let go. Let it happen. Relax and let the water carry us over—instead of my stubborn grasping on to this tiny brittle twig. It would be natural, like breathing. And I want it desperately like I want to release a breath that I’ve been holding for too long. But as I said, while I’ve been waiting, I’ve been working. Working on discovering who I am, who I want to be. And who do I want to be? Not an asshole, for starters. Not to anyone, including myself. And not being an asshole means doing the right thing. I’ve plunged through loopholes before—more than I care to count. And here is what I learned: the right thing is always a doorway unto itself. It’s not necessarily, or typically, easy to walk through, but it always has its own direct path. It is never a loophole. What feels right is not always right. The task at times is to allow the feeling to be, but to do precisely the opposite. To swim against the tide, to resist the pull towards something or someone that, for one reason or another, is not right for you. The right person at the wrong time is wrong for you in a kick ass disguise, reminding us to keep working, to keep moving forward in the right direction. And sometimes we have to move our feet first and wait for the heart to follow. It will follow. I promise. Love always, (no, not always—just for now. For now it burns hot like a damn inferno but a fire unfed eventually fizzles out). ~ Wrong (for you, for now, and perhaps, for always)