Angels amongst Us

I arrived back in the UK in March 1997, leaving Mike behind while I returned to settle the home and collect Kate. It was the first time I had travelled solo and while I was somewhat anxious, it was the only option. My eldest daughter Amanda and her ever welcoming smile, was there to meet me at the airport. Then eventually making my way back to my home town where my youngest daughter Kate had been staying with my younger brother and his lovely wife. My family has always been such a huge support in my life for which I am truly grateful for. After this things seemed to happen really quickly. Returning to work, I happened to mention to a colleague that I needed someone to rent my house for the two years I planned to be away and straight away she said she was more than willing to rent off me. Once that was agreed, I received a call from immigration to say they didn't think we would make the intake for the end of April as there was a capping system that was close to its limit. Having said that only two days later I heard from them again to say I had got through and then the whirl-wind began. The next three weeks were filled with cleaning, selling and storing furniture and visiting people for goodbyes. It was as though I was worried to stop or slow down for fear of changing my mind, so busied myself with what needed to be done, leaving no stone unturned. Before long the time arrived to leave and Kate and I were stood on the doorstep of the place we called home for the last 11years, bound for an adventure to the other side of the world. I will never forget the morning we departed from the station. Whilst waiting for the train the tide was in and the beach and sky looked beautiful, it felt almost as though it was saying goodbye to us. What followed was a 24 hour plane journey until we finally arrived in Melbourne. Kate was excited to see her new room that had been freshly painted before I left and the overall anticipation of being in a her new home, in a new country. Soon after, she was settled in her new primary school and only months after that she told me to not expect her to return to England as she was very happy with her new life. It was in this moment that my heart broke and I felt like someone had split me in half, it was a dreadful feeling. My intention was only ever to stay for two years. Mike and I married in the June of the same year and while it was only supposed to be very small with our two daughters and Mike’s mother, the rest of Mike’s family came in support which was very special. We of course would have loved to have invited them initially, but with very little money wanted to make it as affordable and low key as possible. It was during that first year in Australia that my daughter Jane rang me to say she was expecting her first baby. Straight away I said I would be over, although not sure how we could afford it at that time I knew I had to be there, even if it meant developing a pair of wings to fly. I made it about three weeks after the baby was born and she was beautiful. Jane was a hairdresser and was catching up on clients that were wanting their hair cut, so soon after her daughter’s birth. I could see it was getting too much for her and told her to leave it until she was feeling up to it. She was worried about her husband’s reaction and what his expectations of her were, but after encouraging them to talk she was relieved and seemed more at peace after the conversation. Funnily, not long after Vikki was born Jane soon realised that the sound of the blow-dryer seemed to soothe her. Whether she was hairdressing or not, she would turn it on and Vikki would calm, likely a result of hearing it while in the womb. I was to return to Australia, travelling from Jane’s by coach to my eldest daughters Amanda's home (a good eight hour journey by bus) and spend some time with my other daughter and grandchildren before going back to Australia. It was Amanda that would take me to Heathrow Airport where I would catch the plane back to Australia. It was a long trip but one I got used to over the years getting back to see my family and long term friends. During my trips back and forth to England my father became very ill. It was just after Christmas in 1999, a few months after his 80th birthday in the July, I received a phone call from my mother who was very distressed about my father. He had to go into hospital and it wasn't sounding too good as he hadn't been well for a while. Being 12,000 miles away I felt so helpless and it was after hanging up the phone from my mother I decided to bring my flight time forward. Mike, Kate and myself were scheduled to fly over together in the June, however this felt too far away. Thankfully my dear husband was supportive of my going, even saying if I hadn’t made the decision then he would have done it for me. I spent that time just being there for them and my children and grandchildren visited me whilst staying at my parents, even although sleeping on the settee was not good for my hip, so in the end everyone stepped in and I would alternate between staying with my daughter, brother and friends house and return to my parents home each morning to spend the day with them. Being there to do things that made dad happy was very important to me. Simple things like making him a salad or pancakes the things he enjoyed most, and his favourite chocolate mini rolls. My mother would be upset that he was hardly eating anything, but I explained to her that a little was better than nothing at all. It was heartbreaking to watch my mother struggle to help him. One particular time I remember her trying to carry a bowl of water into the bedroom for him to wash himself, but as she was so frail herself was really struggling. It took all of my strengh not to rush over and help her, but I believed my higher self was directing me to just let her do it. ( In the past dad did the running about after mum). Taking him to the hospital was very upsetting, especially as he had lost so much weight and they had trouble taking blood samples out of his arm which made it very painful for him. I was leaving the following Tuesday as dad went into hospital on the Wednesday and whilst waiting for the taxi to take me to the station, I knelt between the two chairs they were sitting on and held both their hands and not a word was spoken between us almost as if we knew it would be the last time we would all be together.j Mike, Kate and I would be returning to England in June, as we had already booked and dad had given me the money so that I could return the same year so I knew I would be back. I hadn't been back in Australia long, it was the Good Friday and Mike and I were out in the garden when the phone rang. It was my younger brother Pete and he was trying to tell me dad had passed over. Mike came bounding in his usual noisy self (which is one of the many things as I love about him) but on this particular occasion I just wanted quiet so I could absorb what my brother had just told me. Once he realised he went quiet, it would have been Thursday night over in England the year was 2000.