Reflections – A Parent SOULution
How to create a harmonious relationship with your child, teenager or adult-child
by
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Chapter 1
Why Can’t I Be the Parent I Know I Can Be?
It’s not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can’t tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself. —Joyce Maynard
When we believe our children have hurt us deeply, it’s important to have the support of family or friends to relieve some of the emotional burden that we carry in our hearts. Even though I knew my family and friends could have helped me, I never felt comfortable sharing the problems I was having with my son. In retrospect, I realize I kept my problems a secret for fear of being judged by others. I did not want to admit to myself that I believed I had failed as a parent. If this scenario sounds familiar, you know how lonely and difficult it can be to bottle up your emotional pain. I was at a point in my life when I desperately needed to find a new way to deal with my mother-son relationship.
Key realizations
Let me summarize the five important realizations that I uncovered during my extensive hours of contemplation and meditation. These realizations became the road map of my journey of self-healing and self-awareness.
First realization
Being a good parent is not about taking care of and loving your child unconditionally. Good parenting is about taking care of and loving yourself unconditionally. The most important relationship you will ever have in your lifetime is the relationship with yourself.
To be frank, this new awareness took me by surprise. I honestly believed that if I loved and cared for my child, I would have all the essential skills required to be a good parent. Now that I’ve been a parent for quite some time, I can tell you that loving and taking care of my son was not enough to be the best parent for him. More on that later.
Second realization
The quality of my mother-son relationship is a direct reflection of the quality of my thoughts and feelings. In other words, the conflicts that I’m enduring with my son are mirroring how much conflict exists within me.
I honestly believed that my son was solely to blame for triggering these conflicts between us. If only he would listen to me, everything would be all right. I’m the parent, and I know what’s best for him. I tried this approach too many times, and it didn’t work. What an illusion I was living! As it turned out, I should have been focusing on sorting out my life instead of his.
Let me explain
The parent-child relationship is a perfect mirror to reflect what part of our lives needs healing. Accepting this truth allows us to become the best version of ourselves, and as a result, we become the best parents for our children.
The answers I was looking for were staring me in the face all the time. In other words, once I recognized that my son was mirroring the pain that existed within me, I was then able to start the process of healing my life. I believe God’s intention was never to hide our truths from us. He provided us with the best teachers that we could possibly ask for: our children. He’s so smart!
Third realization
My son is here to help me love myself.
This new awareness transformed my life and took my relationship to another level. Loving yourself is key. Think about it.
Do you love yourself as much as you love your son or daughter?
Have you ever noticed how you can love your children no matter how often they’ve hurt you or how many times they may hurt you in the future? This begs the following questions:
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About the Book
Is your relationship with your son or daughter filled with conflict and fear? Have you tried everything to resolve these issues, but have been unsuccessful so far? Discover the five life changing realizations channeled from the divine that guided the author to release her fears, guilt, anger, and judgments toward her son. Reflections is filled with the author’s personal life experiences that serve to help parents apply these new principles into their lives. Reflections will trigger a profound spiritual awakening for parents who have a strong intention to heal their difficult parent-child relationships. Reflections is a sincere, genuine and touching guidebook that will help parents become aware of the sacred contract that exists between them and their children. Learn how your child/teenager/adult-child can be a powerful mirror of your inner world. Uncover the emotional triggers that are responsible for your knee jerk reactions toward your children. Reflections introduces a new paradigm of parenting. It provides a roadmap to help parents tap into their inner wisdom to provide guidance that is based in love and not in fear. Are you ready to experience a profound shift in your life? Reflections will gently guide you to accept that “an open heart will heal any conflict”.
About the Author
Denise Gardens is an experienced speaker in the field of medicine who has lectured in Canada, the U.S., Europe, Asia and Latin America. For the past three decades, Denise’s passion has been to find ways to reach her full potential and to find a deeper meaning to her life. This led her to read hundreds of self-help books, attend multiple seminars, workshops and conferences. It was the love for her son and her strong desire to heal their troubled relationship that pushed her to go deeper within to find the answers she was looking for. Denise generously shares her journey of self-discovery and new found wisdom in Reflections. Her intention is to encourage parents to recognize how their sons and daughters can be powerful mirrors of their inner worlds and to guide them to use this new awareness to heal their own relationships.