Ego Therapy

INTRODUCTION

Why does the ego need to be healed in order to experience a better life and you? The ego is a powerful entity that lies at the center of our human existence. This energy impacts everything we think, believe, feel, and do—and, as such, the work of healing it holds tremendous transformative power. Despite its influence, we have yet to uncover the ego’s true essence, and so its inherent life-changing capacity has mostly lied dormant—until now.

Writers and speakers typically refer to the ego in vague and negative terms, as a dark force to be eliminated, and certainly not to be enhanced or helped. In our ignorance, we have failed to ask the questions that could help us truly understand ourselves as a species, learn to relate to one another as individuals and as nations, and in the process, achieve true happiness and balance in our lives. As I will explain, the ego is not something to overcome, nor would that even be possible. Rather, it is the essence of our humanity, and by healing it, we can reap phenomenal benefits in every aspect of our lives. The time has come to take this crucial, monumental step that will result in raising human consciousness, individually and collectively.

Your ego is at the center of your psychological existence. Everything that you experience—behaviorally, mentally, emotionally, physically and even spiritually—is impacted by your ego energy. Consequently, your ego has a profound say in the quality of your life. It will determine how well you are doing in what I refer to as the “ten key life areas”, which I have observed in thousands of clients, students, friends and family members in my work as a therapist, diagnostician and educator during the past 30 years. These ten key areas include your ability to interact with people, form close relationships, love yourself, achieve your potential, grow your mind, manage life changes, handle adversity, experience happiness, cope with stressors and stress, and address conflict. Your ego energy influences the specific functional or dysfunctional behaviors, thoughts, emotions and physiological reactions that you use as you encounter these ten key areas in life. Your ego, in short, is the most important influence upon your life and the greatest challenge of your life. It is this same challenge that will impact all of the other challenges you will face in your life, including those within the ten key areas.

Unfortunately, despite all this, you probably know little about your ego and how it masks its impact on your life. Don’t be discouraged because you are not alone. The majority of psychologists, therapists and counselors receive little, if any, comprehensive, concentrated and extended training on ego because a palatable, established body of knowledge about ego has not existed thus far.

This is the rationale for and motivation behind why I set out to write Ego Therapy. I address this lack of ego awareness by thoroughly and concretely outlining what ego is and what it isn’t (Chapters 1 to 3). From there, I will help you “find” and determine the healthiness of your ego energy (Chapter 4), better manage your ego energy (Chapters 5 to 10) and know how well you are doing in the enhancement and healing of your ego energy (Chapters 11 to 16). All of this will help to reveal your ego, as well as the egos of people in your life.

The ego is not inherently good or evil, though it does thrive on the darkness of your ignorance. It can be your friend or your enemy; the latter will likely be the case if you remain unaware of any imbalances in its energy. Intelligence has little to do with it, as your “hidden” ego will lead you to engage in stupid thoughts, feelings and behaviors. The intentional use of the word “stupid”, in this context, means less functional or dysfunctional behavior, thoughts, emotions and physiological responses. Unrecognized ego energy will cause you to keep reverting to these responses until you recognize it, even though you may have a strong desire to change. In the absence of the right knowledge, intelligence and even sheer will power is no match for the hidden ego.

The good news is that the influence of your ego can be transformed into a friendship as you unmask it and bring it into the light of awareness presented within Ego Therapy. Developing your awareness of ego and your ego energy will make you smarter in the way you live your life; and the management and healing of your ego will lead you to more functional behaviors, thoughts, emotions and physiological responses in each of the ten key life areas.

The great reward for entering into this transformative work is a highly improved quality of life, with happiness, joy and contentment at the forefront. Ultimately, and perhaps best of all, it will take you to greater depths in your spirituality. Rather than struggling against yourself, you will find inner peace and, consequently, a greater overall peace about the journey of life. The healed ego, having become your friend, will no longer get in your way. It will become your ally as you come to better know the best version of yourself. You will feel and live from your great internal power and strength, which I will refer to as the Divine Self.

This book attempts to provide you with a strategy with which to go into your mind and find your ego. You might experience some painful realizations, but Ego Therapy will serve as a safety net during this process. It will be here to guide you through the process of self-growth and serve as a reference for how well you are doing. It will show you which aspects of your ego energy and life you need to improve upon. It will also provide you with what I call “ego medicine”, which you can work with to transform your ego energy, as needed.

The raising of your ego consciousness will lead to greater balance in your ego power, ego flexibility, and ego vulnerability levels, which will allow you to successfully meet this and other challenges in your life more effectively. It will ultimately lead to a deepening of your spiritual consciousness where anything and everything that is good will be possible.

Nickolas Martin, Ed.D.