Unapologetic Work Life Balance

As we read, my story involved a leap of faith outside my corporate comfort zone. However, not all scenarios involve such a drastic shift in order to claim back your life. Meet one of my clients, a married mom of one and a corporate VP who we will call Rachel. Rachel was struggling with finding time to exercise in the midst of a busy workweek. She was feeling guilty if she got up early to run or if she ran after work because both of those options meant taking time away from her family. Plus, it was the darkest time of year, and she didn’t feel safe running outside near the office during the bookend parts of the day. By waiting to do weekend-warrior mileage, she wasn’t getting the benefits of the endorphin release that she desperately needed daily. The thought of running during work hours was blasphemy. I mean, what would her boss say? What would her team think? Rachel felt like a slacker either way, as both a leader and as an athlete, because this piece of her was missing. After coaching about this, she decided she was going to run during her lunch break for a mile or two, just to see how she felt and what consequences she had to manage upon her return. You know what terrible things happened? None. Not one bad consequence for running during her lunch break. Everyone who witnessed it either accepted it or was motivated by it because she was a role model for making a decision to be a better, holistic human, which also made her a better leader at work. Each situation will be different, but without taking a chance, you’ll never know what’s possible. Imagine a version of your life in which there is enough time to balance it all in a way you love. You have a career that’s rewarding and fulfilling. There’s time for family and fun and yourself — the elusive “me time” that we read about only in Oprah and Self magazines. You find yourself feeling fine whether it’s Monday morning or Friday night — it’s just the same because you are striking a balance that feeds all parts of you. Think this is a colossal joke? I invite you to reconsider. I’ve coached hundreds of corporate warriors who are so dedicated to work that they forget about themselves in the process. I often remind them of the wonderful value that they provide in being such dedicated workers and leaders. I also remind them that they are doing the best they can with current tools and states of mind. And yet, the invitation to be better vs. do better is always there, waiting for the aware, the willing, and the able. It goes a little something like this: Too often everyone else gets the best of you. You are happy and proud to give of yourself to your career and to whoever needs you. Until you burn out. But what about you needing you? Aren’t you worth it too? Imagine this: you get to be the client of your own awesomeness. There is a world in which, when you win, everyone wins. And it’s not another deadline, job, or lifetime away. It’s closer than you think. Typically, there are a lot of doubts and fears that rear their ugly heads when I speak of such tomfoolery as “work life balance.” I’ve heard it all, and maybe some of these thoughts, often expressed by my clients, resonate with you: • “I can’t sleep well at night because I can’t shut my brain off from the never-ending list.” • “Because I work so much, I feel guilty taking time for me after work when my family is waiting.” • “I don’t have time to work out.” • “There aren’t enough hours in the day to get it all done.” • “I’m afraid I’ll regret not being there for my kids’ important milestones.” • “If I don’t answer every email, I get anxious I’ll miss something.” • “I’m a go-getter and people count on me, so ‘me time’ isn’t an option.” • “It feels so selfish to get my nails done when I should be helping at home.” • “If I say no to tasks or to people, I won’t be viewed as a team player.” • “If I delegate, then it won’t get done right or on time. It’s easier for me to do it myself.” If any or all of these lines sound familiar, or you’d like to insert your own personal hell statement, please know that you are not alone. You are a normal corporate warrior working on autopilot at the moment. Whether you have a revelation like I did that shakes you awake, or you are in a state of slower evolution, just know it’s quite common to be uncomfortable with big change. You may even feel that, by putting yourself first, you’re being selfish. So many years of conditioning have led you to believe that this is the truth. I’d like to invite you to think of it as being self-serving — but not selfish. You’ve likely heard the quote by author Eleanor Brown, who said, “You cannot pour from an empty vessel.” Unless you have a magic trick that I don’t know about, I’m sure this is true for you as well. Lots of feelings or fears may come up when you consider making any changes in your life right now. After all, you have a great job with pay and benefits, and perhaps a lot of things are going really well in your life. But, given that, why not make it even better? Why not allow it to be even easier? Why not dream a bit and see what’s possible for you? This book is going to take you on a journey. You’ll face whatever your current state is and move through steps to help you create the balanced life you love, both at work and home.