How did I end up here?

Why pray? I know I don’t read the bible really, but I pray. Why go to church? Why attempt to please you with my life, if there is no benefit? I’m tired of this Christian thing! You haven’t helped, only forgotten about me, so you can watch me turn my back on you! I’m going to live as my friends, like everyone else. Who needs a God? Why follow this lifestyle? Definitely, missing out on many things. Heard so many stories about guys messing around with girls. Time for me to join in and just sleep around. Why am I even sitting in this class? I know I failed.

Walking out the class, my mission begins. Only a few weeks left in the semester, better enjoy as much as I can. Pacing slowly through the campus, the warm weather sooths my wearied mind and strengthens my will to accomplish the task. Surveying the campus like a lion for a prey, is entertaining and intriguing. Walking through the campus, without discretion turning to view each girl in eyesight. Leaving the main walkway to head down a shorter path leading to the library. Off to the side of the path on the grass were a few tables. Sitting alone at the nearest small round table studying is a small petite girl. A studious one, multiple books spread on the table and holding note cards in her hand. Sitting upright with her knees at a perfect ninety degree angle and back straight. This perfect posture displays the gorgeous long curly hair flowing down her back and glistens in the sun. It is her hair that caught my eye. A purple shirt compliments her tan, must be Hispanic. Looking at her notes, she smiles. She’s beautiful. And will be my first. I walk near the edge of the walkway to gain a closer look. Three ladies from the other side then cross onto the grass and stop at her small table. There is only two chairs at the table, so they all stand around her and begin conversing. Delay in the plans now, but these people will leave. Then it’s my turn. So…how to get her from this scene, to my dorm room tonight? Once she’s there, sleeping with her will happen naturally. Ok, so just go over there say hello, introduce myself and….No, I have to come out strong. But in coming out too strong, it could intimidate her. I got it. I’ll just ask, could I sit and enjoy the weather. Then introduce myself and sweet talk her. After, invite her to the dorm for a homemade dinner. When she’s there I’ll apologize for lying about the cooking and order something. Ha ha, that’s comical, me cook something.

The funny thought breaks my contemplation and at her table they’re still conversing. Near her table are congested walkways full of students veering to other nearby walkways. Time has moved quickly, it’s darker and the congestion is diminishing. Someone is bound to notice my strange walking pattern. Well, if questioned I will just tell the truth, I’m waiting to talk to this lady. If her friends hadn’t been talking for so long, it wouldn’t be suspicious! And I’m starting to feel like a stalker. In the midst of complaining, the ladies depart. Finally! Yes! O man, here we go. Excitedly, heading down the walkway to approach the grass leading to her table. Should I do this? Detouring now, turning away and continuing to pace. Alright let’s try this again, there are only a few weeks left at school. Motivated and apprehensive, I head down the path again and stop at the curb. Her table is about ten steps from the curb, but it seems farther. I’m ready to do this and move forward stepping on the grass. Slowly and gingerly taking steps, hoping she doesn’t look up from her book. My confidence builds with this element of surprise. The girl looks up with her eyes and quickly places them back on her book. My heart pounds faster, and my pace slows as the feeling of nervousness arises. Here now, no turning back. With my best smile and already in the process of sitting, “Hi, can I sit down?”

She returns the smile and attentively responds “Yes”. Feeling even more confident as it seems her full interest has been captured. Anticipated that would take some effort. So I grab the chair directly across from her and casually begin to sit. An exuberant voice emerges before my bottom touches the seat, “God told me you were a good man.”