10 - A Story of Love, Life, and Loss

For years, I kept finding dimes - in the most unlikely places. I would get out of my car and there, on the driveway, would be a dime. I would step over a street curb in the rain, and in the gutter under the streams of storm water would be a dime. Doing the dishes at night, I would find a dime on the window ledge or waking in the morning to brush my teeth I would find one on the edge of the sink. As I waited in line at the grocer, I would look down and there, again, would be a dime, shining. I began to think that 10 must be a very lucky number for me. And so it proved to be.

Tom was an old high school friend. For years, we continued a friendship that spanned decades and distances as we each led our own lives. But on February 14, Valentine’s Day, 2001, he phoned and asked if I would be interested in going on a date. The seeds of a new relationship were planted.

Over the next decade, Tom became my love, my friend, my travelling companion, my cheerleader, my shoulder to cry on, my sounding board, my golf partner, my camping buddy, my goofy guy. We had come together at a prime time in both of our lives. Our friendship grew into love, and love grew into marriage. He became “Poppa Tom” to my three grown daughters. I found that, in spite of knowing him for many years, I didn’t really know him. I didn’t know how sweet, how romantic, how generous, kind, and respectful he could be. People say I brought out the best in him, but the truth is he brought out the best in me. He taught me how to love someone with space in our togetherness that honoured each other and gave room for individual growth. It was a gentle love, a patient love, an adult love.

It was a love that spanned ten years of travel, fun, and adventure with family and friends. What wonderful memories we created together. I remember wildly dancing into the early morning hours at a casino in Las Vegas just after winning for the first time at the penny slots with bells and whistles and flashing lights. What fun we had fishing for croakers in Chesapeake Bay, tangling and untangling lines as we pulled fish in with our fellow shipmates. We sat at a sea-side table in Korea sharing fresh sashimi and soju and waded through Balinese waters as the sun set over a golden ocean. We honeymooned and snorkelled in Mexico, gathered sea glass on quiet shores in P.E.I., walked cobblestone streets in Old Quebec, and hiked beautiful limestone trails through the Finger Lakes in New York State. We shared rum and cigars at the Tropicana Club in Cuba and enjoyed Tony Bennett and other jazz greats at several music festivals. How special our wedding was with its butterfly theme and the release of twelve live butterflies that lingered in the sun for photographic moments. Birthdays and holidays were always celebrated with family whether it was a tasty barbecue at a relative’s home or turkey and stuffing around our own dining room table. We enjoyed sport events and many concerts, plays, and music, art and dance festivals. We were always ready for any new adventure or event. What a wonderful ten years it was.

In 2010, we were in the planning stages of a trip to Australia and New Zealand when Tom was given his cancer diagnosis. This is where 10 – A Story of Love, Life and Loss, a true story, begins. Part journal, part memoir, part inspirational essay, the reader is invited to join us on our seven month cancer journey. May it be a source of hope and inspiration when travelling a difficult path in your own life.