Walking with Spirit

WALKING WITH SPIRIT Consciously beginning your spiritual journey Awaken to the now. Be conscious and aware of the now in everything you do. Live and love in the light of Spirit. These are wise words given to me by my guides when I began walking with Spirit. I share them with you today along with my prayer that this book will find its way to the hands of those ready to begin their Spiritual journey or those on their path that may need a little encouragement or a hand along their way. I found long ago that there are always people ahead of you or further along on their path that are willing to help and guide you. Likewise, there are people behind you that may need your help and guidance on their journey. That is where I am now, a fellow traveler, walking with Spirit just as you. So who am I to write this book? I asked the same question and I heard, “Who are you not to write this book. You are a child of God. You are loved, protected and guided”. Who am I? I am just like you, a normal person. I could be your neighbor or coworker or the person sitting next to you at the dentist office or standing behind you at the checkout line in the store. The roles I have played have been daughter, sister, and friend, wife, mother and so on. However, what is important is that I am a spiritual being having a human experience and loving every minute of the journey. Not that they have all been a piece of cake but each experience has help to make me who I am today. I consciously began my Spiritual journey over 35 years ago. However, I realize that I had always been led in that direction. As long as I can remember, I have been drawn to the religious, spiritual and mystical parts of life. I was raised as a Methodist and church was a thing I did as a young child. My parents took my brother and myself to Sunday school and church each Sunday. My father loved to tell Bible stories to us when we were little. I would not call my parents overly religious but they certainly walked the walk, to use the old phrase. My father was the kindest most generous man I have ever known and my mother was a guiding light for me until the day she passed. Actually, they both are still my role models. I however only learned organized religion during my childhood, I did not learn spiritually. As a teen, at a Youth for Christ function at school, I had an amazing experience. I was told I had been saved. All I know is that when I left I felt different and everything seemed different. Colors were more vivid, sounds were somehow sweeter and I saw details that before I had missed all together. I felt connected to everything. It was my first taste of being fully awake and I know now it was an early initiation into Spirit. As time and busy life continued, I fell back into the same routine and did the things most teens do. I also got into my fair share of trouble but survived as most of us did. I married at age 19 went to nursing school and had two beautiful children. By the time, I was 25 I unfortunately found myself in a very uncomfortable emotionally abusive marriage that was becoming physically abusive. I know now that he was not alone to blame since I allowed it. An emotionally and physically abusive man raised him and that was what he knew. I cried myself to sleep so many nights and was constantly praying for an answer. However, like most abused wives I felt that it was something I had done to deserve the abuse. At the suggestion of a friend, I started counseling, which began to open my eyes to the inner world of self. I saw that like many women I had given up myself to be a wife and mother. Starting counseling was very difficult but one of the best things I have ever done and may have saved my life. I am 5’8” and weighed less than 100 pounds, had a peptic ulcer and had been entertaining suicide. Shortly after starting counseling my husband threw a toy at my daughter because she was making too much noise. It hit her and she screamed and cried, luckily, it was only a small toy but it made me realize that he might hurt our children. He had been hurting me but I would not allow him to hurt our children. I left the next day. If I had stayed single, truly found myself and became strong my story would be so different. But I didn’t, I met and shortly after married an older man that I thought would take care of me and my children. Wrong move but of course, I did not know it at that time. It was during this marriage that I returned to the church, to take my children or so I thought. However, I now know I was being drawn back into Spirit. I began working with the youth group and felt called to go into the ministry in some way. I returned to college to study world religions and Christian education at the Methodist affiliated Florida Southern College in Lakeland, Florida. What a wonderful experience. There were so many wonderful Professors. I not only learned about religions but also I learned about life and that Spirituality is not separate from who we are but a vital part of who we are. I graduated with honors and accepted a position as the program and youth director in a large Methodist church in the town in which we lived. I thought all was well until my husband became very controlling, demanding and suffocating me. I also found that he had not been treating my children very lovingly. He was not abusive but withdrawn and indifferent to my children and very different with his children. When I asked why they had not told me they said they wanted me to be happy. I blamed myself for being so involved in my studies that I had not seen this. I again began counseling, this time with a Spiritual counselor. This is when my spiritual journey really began. My counselor, a very wise woman, helped me to look at my life, my choices, and my actions and ask why. She helped me find my inner strength. I tried to work through the issues in my marriage I really wanted to salvage it but it takes two working together for there to be success. We spent many months in counseling. Then in a heated discussion he said I have been, this was for fifty years why should I change now. I knew that we were not going to make it. My divorce was I know a major catalyst for me to continue working on my own spiritual journey. The minister I worked with at the time, instead of supporting me and counseling me told me I was going to Hell. He said that God had forgiven me once but would not forgive my divorcing again. He said I needed to be like Christ and accept anything my husband said or did. I told him the God I worshiped and Served was loving and forgiving. He told me I had no right working with the church especially the youth. He requested my resignation. It nearly split the church but rather than cause a problem I left and returned to nursing. This is when I began my own inner walk with Spirit and found I did not need the church as the provider of my spirituality. One evening I was crying and praying that I all I wanted to do was serve God. I thought working in the church was where I was supposed to be. I heard, maybe felt is a better explanation, “My precious child you do serve me in all you do where ever you are”. I felt as if I was held and cradled in Gods arms. That was only the second time I had heard Spirit speak to me. The first time I blew it off thinking I had made it up. I am now much more spiritual and much closer to God, the Universal Spirit, the great I Am, the collective consciousness, or whatever name you would like to call our creator than I was when I worked for the church. I love where I am and I love the journey. I believe the hardest times are our best lessons and the people hardest on us are our best teachers. All has brought us to where we are now. Each part of our life has been woven together to create our ta